June 20, 2013

Assange loses fight against extradition

c04c05eccc990f9969f46db73365c816 Assange loses fight against extradition

Julian Assange to be extradited
STORY HIGHLIGHTS

NEW: Assange says he will consider his next steps
Judges will decide later this month whether he can appeal
The court dismisses his assertion that some of the was consensual
He denies the allegations and says extradition would be unfair

London (CNN) — editor Julian Assange lost a court battle to stay in the United Kingdom Wednesday and will be extradited to Sweden to face questioning over sex charges, a court ruled.

Appeals court judges Lord Justice John Thomas and Justice Duncan Ouseley rejected all four of the arguments Assange’s defense team used to fight the extradition.

They will hold another hearing later this month to determine whether he can appeal.

Assange, who has been under house arrest for nearly a year while waiting to find out the results, said Wednesday he will now consider his next steps.

“I have not been charged with any crime in any country,” he said on the steps of the High Court in London. “Despite this, the is so restrictive that it prevents UK courts from considering the facts of a case, as judges have made clear here today.”

Assange is accused of sexually assaulting in Sweden in August 2010. Although he has not been charged with a crime, Swedish prosecutors want to question him in connection with the allegations.

The court comprehensively rejected his defense against being sent there to face prosecution, and was particularly scathing about a dispute with one of the over whether she had consented to having sex with him.

Swedish authorities allege that the unnamed agreed to have sex with him only if he wore a condom, and that he then had with her while she was asleep.

“The allegation is that he had sexual intercourse with her when she was not in a position to consent and so he could not have had any reasonable belief that she did,” the court said.

Assange drew cheers from the crowd as he left the court. A “Free Assange” rally was planned for Wednesday outside the Royal Courts of Justice.

Assange, an Australian, decided to fight the case at the High Court after a judge at Belmarsh Magistrates’ Court ruled in February that the WikiLeaks head should be extradited.

Assange denies the accusations, saying they are an attempt to smear him, and he says it would be unfair to send him to a country where the language and legal system are alien to him. His attorneys have fought his extradition on procedural and -rights grounds.

Assange’s lawyers have suggested that Sweden would hand him over to the United States if Britain extradites him. The prosecutor representing Sweden has dismissed that claim.

The extradition case is not linked to his work as founder and editor-in-chief of WikiLeaks, which has put him on the wrong side of the U.S. authorities.

His organization, which facilitates the anonymous leaking of secret information, has published some 250,000 confidential U.S. diplomatic cables in the past year, causing embarrassment to the government and others.

It has also published hundreds of thousands of classified U.S. documents relating to the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But the organization has come under increasing financial pressure in recent months, leading Assange to announce last week that WikiLeaks was temporarily stopping publication to “aggressively fundraise” in order to stay afloat.

A financial blockade by Bank of America, VISA, MasterCard, PayPal and Western Union has destroyed 95% of WikiLeaks’ revenue, Assange said.

Many financial institutions stopped doing with the site after it released the U.S. diplomatic cables late last year, and donations have been stymied.

U.S. authorities have said disclosing the classified information was illegal and caused risks to individuals and national security.

Pucker Up! Kissing Has Great Health Benefits

ca9db4cffae57ad7a84986f56b809a34 Pucker Up! Kissing Has Great Health Benefits

(Phatforums News / The Stir) — Folks go ga-ga over gettin’ it in. Smashin’. Knockin’ boots. Getting busy. Bumpin’ and grindin’. Dancing the horizontal cha-cha. Doing the nasty. Or, for you more traditional types, engaging in . And yes, there is something to be said for the magic of having your body contorted and your hair all mussed as you and puff and sweat it out with the object of your desire. (Phew, is it ever.)

But there’s also something so simplistically sexy and genuinely seductive about a . It’s so personal and intimate and, unlike the ol’ naked hokey pokey, you can do it in public without fear of arrest or YouTube superstardom. Kissing also has a heap of benefits, though, that are added bonuses to an already good thing. Tilt your head, close your eyes and pucker up — now for more reasons than just a little hot lip action.

Kissing keeps you young. Or, at the very least, young-looking. Studies show that amorous folks use 30 to kiss, a sexy workout that tones cheeks and tightens the chin.

Kissing relieves allergies. Sufferers say amen! Histamine production can slow during a 30 minute make-out, relieving symptoms like sneezing and runny nose. Instead of reaching for a tissue, go in for a little lip action.

Kissing pumps you up. You don’t need to jump out of a plane or walk across hot coals to get a rush (insert hefty here). Stay safe and get a nice, hot kiss instead — it creates adrenaline, gets your blood pumping, and lowers blood pressure and cholesterol.

Kissing is like a mini-. Your lip lock triggers the release of antibodies that fight off disease-causing bacteria. And it’s a heck of a lot more fun than getting jabbed in the arm with a needle.

Kissing is relaxing. That floating-on-a-cloud feeling after getting some sugar is from increased and — your body’s built-in feel-good and calming chemicals, respectively.

Kissing gives you pretty teeth. Well, that might be a teensy exaggeration, but the spit swapping works to neutralize nasty acids that cause tooth decay and may exchange mineral salts that strengthen enamel.

Kissing helps you live longer. Couples who give their significant other a little smooch before they go their separate ways in the morning live five years longer than those that don’t.

Kissing burns calories. You can melt up to 6 calories a minute during the course of a smoldering smooch, so instead of skipping dessert on a date, kindly ask your beau: are you planning on giving me a nice, long, hot kiss goodnight?

An Online Dating Site For The Sexless

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(Phatforums News / The Frisky) – You don’t need to find romance.

That’s the premise behind a new online dating website targeted at and women who are unable to have due to disease or disability.

Created by Laura Brashier, a 50-year-old survivor, 2date4.com allows users to write details about themselves and look for others with similar interests.

The one thing they’re looking for — a partners who isn’t looking for a physical .

“2date4love is a dating site that enables people who cannot engage in sexual intercourse to meet and experience love, companionship and intimacy at its deepest level,” the website reads.

The website has attracted more than 1,500 members since its Aug. 1 launch.

Brashier, a hair stylist from Santa Margarita, Calif., told ABC’s “Good Morning America” she was old and single when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical . She struggled with dating for years following her recovery, fearful of finding intimacy.

She was inspired to start the website after months of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatments destroyed her vaginal tissue, making sex painful.

“I didn’t want to be alone. This was the reason I went online,” she said. “My reason is to help a lot of people like me if I can.”

It is estimated one in three Americans will have cancer in their lifetime, Dr. Ilana Cass, a oncologist at Cedars-Sinai Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute in Los Angeles, told ABC.

Treatment often can kill sex drive and make intercourse impossible, she said.

The website is also for men and women who can’t have sex because of other injuries or disabilities, or who are simply uninterested in being physical with their partners.

“It’s just the freedom of not having it on my mind when I am talking to a ,” Brashier told ABC. “It’s really hard for someone else to understand how it weighs on my mind.”

Skipping Sex Can Improve Love Life

c0517ab019496d4fba9c5e9ce99089d4 Skipping Sex Can Improve Love Life

(Phatforums News/ The Stir) – For most of , it’s hard to imagine love with the opposite sex without the sex and intimacy that accompany it. After all, isn’t sex what makes different than “just friends”?

For some, like Laura Brashier, a cervical survivor, there is simply no choice. Sex is no longer an option, but the 50-year-old still wanted to date. This is the reason she started 2date4love.com, a website that describes itself as “a dating site that enables people who cannot engage in sexual intercourse to meet and experience love, , and intimacy at its deepest level.”

But is that even possible?

The answer: Of course it is. Plenty of people are able to have intimacy beyond sexual intercourse. Intercourse is nice and fun and certainly the go-to sex act for most , but it isn’t the be-all, end-all of . There are other ways to be intimate and loving.

This is where the Internet is such a blessing. There are online for people with specific sexual fetishes, STDs, fantasies, and now sexual limitations, too. And why not?

Isn’t it nice to know up front how things are going to roll? In many ways the concept is intriguing. Without intercourse on the table, imagine the possibilities. Back before I had sex, I remember some of the steamiest of my life just playing around the idea. It would be like a return to that.

Come to think of it, this is something all may want to try. Though for many, the circumstances around choosing to abstain from intercourse are painful, but the idea itself could actually increase intimacy among even who are having intercourse.

Intercourse isn’t the only path to love and intimacy, and it’s about time people started to recognize that. Just because a person can’t have intercourse doesn’t mean they can’t have great, amazing love and connection.

Why Women Lose Interest in Sex

7a16725b5f715b43129ff2de903c4f21 Why Women Lose Interest in Sex

(Phatforums Blog/ WebMD) - Loss of sexual desire is ’s biggest sexual problem, and it’s not all in their heads.

Living with libido loco? For a growing number of women, declining hormones, job stress, issues, and other problems are taking their toll in the bedroom.

Loss of sexual desire, known in medical terms as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), is the most common form of sexual dysfunction among women of all ages. A recent study showed that nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex, and it’s not all in their heads.

Unlike ’s main sexual complaint, erectile dysfunction, women’s biggest sexual problem is caused by a combination of both mental and physical factors, which aren’t likely to be cured by merely popping a pill.

“Women’s sexuality tends to be multifaceted and fairly complicated,” says sex psychologist Sheryl Kingsberg, PhD. “Although we would love to simplify it so we could have the one-two or even a one-punch treatment, it doesn’t tend to work that way.”

But the introduction of anti-impotence treatments in the last few years has spurred more research into the causes of sexual dysfunction among both men and women, and effective therapies are available to help put the lust back into women’s lives.

What Is Low Sexual Desire?

, experts say frequency of sexual intercourse has nothing to do with sexual desire or satisfaction.

“One of first things I do in speaking to women who come in with sexual concerns is let them know that there is no normal frequency or set of behaviors and things change with time,” says Jan Shifren, MD, an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School. “If it’s working for them and/or their partner, there is no problem.”

But when a experiences a significant decrease in interest in sex that is having an effect on her life and is causing distress, then it’s considered a problem of low sexual desire or HSDD.

Kingsberg says that sexual desire is more than just an issue of low libido or sex drive. She says sexual drive is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as spontaneous sexual interest including sexual thoughts, erotic , and daydreams.

Kingsberg, who is an associate professor of reproductive biology at the Case Western Reserve School of says, “It’s about your body signaling that it wants to be sexual. Whether or not there is any intention to act on it, we all have a certain level of drive.”

That sexual drive declines naturally with age based on physiological factors. But sexual desire also encompasses interpersonal and psychological factors that create a willingness to be sexual.

“Above and beyond horniness, it is the sense of intimacy in the relationship,” says Kingsberg. “If you are mad at your spouse, you could be horny but you’re not going want to be sexual with that particular person.”

Therefore, all of these aspects of sexual desire must be examined in order to determine the root of the problem.

Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive in women include:

Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire.
Sociocultural influences. Job stress, peer pressure, and media images of sexuality can negatively influence sexual desire.
Low testosterone. Testosterone affects sexual drive in both men and women. Testosterone levels peak in women’s mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically.
Medical problems: Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman’s sexual drive both mentally and physically.
Medications: Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering , and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.

Age. Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age.

Putting the Desire Back in Women’s Sex Lives

Because a loss of sexual desire in women is caused by a combination of physical and psychological factors, it usually requires more than one treatment approach to fix the problem.

“For women, it is much more complex. They’re not just complaining of one plumbing problem, says Shifren. “So we have to be more thoughtful in our approaches to treatment.”

Once the factors causing low sexual desire have been determined, potential treatment options may include:

Sex therapy and/or relationship counseling. “Sex therapy is very effective for individuals and couples, and that is always at the top of my list,” says Shifren. Sexual dysfunction usually affects both parties in a relationship and should be discussed together or individually with a mental health professional.

Changing medications or altering the dose. If the problem is caused by medications, a change of prescription or alternative therapies may be recommended. If an oral contraceptive is suspected as the culprit in lowering testosterone levels, a different formulation or nonhormonal birth control methods may be prescribed.

Addressing underlying medical conditions. Medical problems contributing to low sexual desire may require surgical treatment, such as the removal of painful fibroids or medication.

Vaginal estrogens. In postmenopausal women, vaginal dryness may be treated with vaginal estrogen creams.
Testosterone therapy. Although no hormone or drug has been approved by the FDA to treat sexual problems in women, many gynecologists recommend off-label uses of testosterone therapy for women with low sexual desire to restore testosterone to normal (pre-menopausal) levels.

In addition, several therapies involving testosterone pills or skin patches specifically designed to treat female sexual problems are currently being studied in hopes of FDA approval in the near future.

For example, Shrifen is involved in research using a testosterone skin patch to treat low sexual desire in women. Initial studies have shown that the patch significantly improved both sexual desire and satisfaction compared with placebo among postmenopausal women who had their ovaries removed.

She says a phase III clinical trial of the testosterone patch involving several thousand women worldwide is currently wrapping up, and results should be published soon. For the first time, this study looks at the effect of the testosterone patches in naturally menopausal women as well as those who have undergone surgical or early menopause caused by chemotherapy or removal of their ovaries.

No Miracle Love Potion No. 9

When evaluating treatments for sexual problems, experts say it’s important to recognize that there is an especially large placebo effect, which is based upon the user’s expectations of the treatment. That’s why drugs must be tested against a placebo (sugar pill) in order to scientifically measure their effect.

It also helps explain why many supplements claim to be effective in treating sexual problems, such as low sexual desire. Because expectations play such a large role in sexual desire, over-the-counter products may claim that they’re effective, but it’s likely just a placebo effect.

“It’s really important for women to realize that any of the over-the-counter products they may use have not been tested for efficacy and safety,” says Shifren.

More Research on Women’s Sexual Issues Underway

Phyllis Greenberger, MSW, president of the Society for Women’s Health Research says more women report sexual problems than men, but research and treatment for women’s sexual problems still lags behind.

“For example, from 1990 to 1999, nearly 5,000 studies were published on male sexual function, but there were only 2,000 women’s studies,” says Greenberger.

But experts say research into women’s sexual function is slowly catching up in the post-Viagra era.

“This is one of first times we’ve seen really high quality studies for sexual dysfunction in women,” Shifren tells WebMD. She says that until recently, the only studies on women’s sexual issues were very small, often short-term, and rarely well designed.

“I think it’s very exciting, not only that we’re hoping to have more products available for women, but that the studies are going on and they are well-designed studies,” says Shifren. “It’s really a good thing.”

Migraine Remedy

dd91b83dc81f000a993f88174f8dc165 Migraine Remedy

Studies show your headache could be just what the bedroom asked for.

It’s a fact that when most people get a headache or even one worse, like a migraine headache, the last thing you want to do is anything. Most will stop at nothing short of putting a drill to their head to relieve the pressure.

A migraine headache is a neurological disease, of which the most common symptom is an intense and disabling episodic headache. They have long been studied and researched in the medical community, but to the dismay of many migraine sufferers, there is no clear-cut cause for the disease. However, there seems to be a general consensus that the key element is blood flow changes in the brain; migraine suffers appear to have blood vessels that overreact to various triggers.

In a recent study conducted by the journal, Headache, researchers found surprising results when they tested the theory that migraine and sexual desire may both be associated with serotonin—a powerful chemical agent that induces or initiates responses in the brain, blood serum and gastric mucous membrane.

Lead researcher Dr. Timothy T. Houle of the Wake Forest School of Medicine in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, notes that although it is commonly believed that drive is reduced by and can cause specific types of headaches, more and more is beginning to show that may alleviate the pain of migraine in some patients due to increased levels of serotonin to the brain. There goes the excuse of “not tonight honey, I have a headache.”

Houle and his team of researchers recruited 59 adults who had at least 10 headaches annually. Among them, seven and 16 were classified as having migraines, while the rest (18 men and 18 ) had tension-type headaches. Migraine sufferers have stronger sexual desire than people who get only normal tension headaches. It was hypothesized that a serotonergic link may be implicated in both migraine headaches and sexual desire. Serotonin receptors also appear to be involved in several aspects of sexual functioning.

Lorna McLaren, an expert in communication, stress and the factor and a facilitator says exercise is also one way to release headache tension.

“Absolutely sex has a positive effect,” said McLaren. “It only takes 7 to 10 minutes of cardio to change the chemicals in your brain, release and physically and emotionally feel better. Sex is exercise, and as humans we intuitively need to connect with others. What better way than in a loving, sexual experience.”

Until more research is conducted, couples suffering from migraine can experiment in the bedroom and conduct their own research or wait until Houle and his research team is finished focusing on their next task which is mathematical modeling to predict migraine activity. It’s up to you, but we believe you’ll find quicker results by experimenting in the bedroom.

Analyzing Religious Fanatic Shelley Lubben

b87457bb8538f263f83b64787d39a3e9 Analyzing Religious Fanatic Shelley Lubben

PORN VALLEY—As might be expected, Christian anti-sex fanatic Shelley Lubben took issue with our coverage of the seventh annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers—“expected” because Lubben’s whole schtick is dependent on convincing her contributors and supporters that adult actresses as a group are exploited and preyed upon by unscrupulous producers and directors, and that if they gave it some thought, they’d quit the business in a heartbeat. It’s bullshit, of course: I know it, she knows it, but if she admitted it, her book sales (already, I’m guessing, none too high) would plummet and her appearances at anti-porn events would dry up, and maybe the rest of the anti-porn movement would ignore her like intelligent folks everywhere currently do.

So let’s examine her latest screed, eh? (I’ll put my comments in bold italics.)

“I am honored to be a favorite of AVN (Adult Video News),” Lubben wrote. “Must be the blonde hair. I don’t know but porn reporter Mark Kernes seems to have a thing for me lately, especially when yesterday he promoted my name and Pink Cross in his very first sentence! I stuff like this! Thank you Mark and AVN for the constant promotion. You’re making me and my cause famous!”

Sadly, Sparky, it’s tough to comment on what a crap-artist you are without occasionally quoting you or referring to the bile you vomit forth on your web page. Wish I didn’t have to, but for some reason, there are people out there in the real world (the world you don’t have a lot of contact with) who are willing to give you a forum without even trying to find out what underlies the lies that are your bread and butter. Plus, I wouldn’t have thought that my referring to your organization as a “religiously based hate group” would be considered an “honor”—but as I said, your contact with the real world seems to be tenuous at best.

“About the whole sex worker rights crap; first of all you don’t have a vagina for sale.”

Neither do you. Short of organ donation, the best you can do is rent yours out, as do millions of other women around the world, a fair portion of whom (including all the actresses in the American adult video industry) do so voluntarily and with full knowledge of what they’re doing—hell, many even enjoy it!

“Secondly, to address your 12th issue of the journal ‘Research for Sex Work’ in both English and Russian, (not a big deal considering my story and articles are in German, French, Spanish, English, Greek, Hungarian and Slovak), I’ll simply expose your lies and tell the truth and we’ll see who’s more convincing. You, a porn-addicted reporter with a “virgin” blessed assurance or me, the former Great Whore who fornicated herself in anals, facials and gangbang interracials with the world’s most sexually diseased people: porn stars.”

I guess you don’t read too well, either. “Research for Sex Work” isn’t “[my] 12th issue” of anything; I have nothing to do with its publication. “Research for Sex Work” is published by the Global Network of Sex Work Projects, a sexually oriented rights organization whose work is to promote health and rights around the globe. And considering that you have no idea how much porn I watch in the course of a day/week/month, branding me as “porn-addicted” simply shows that you have no trouble making assumptions about people and things of which you’re relatively (or completely) ignorant. And guess what, toots? You’re still a whore (not a term I commonly use, but in your case, I’ll make an exception), except now, instead of renting your body on the street or through in-call or out-call, you’re whoring for religious fundamentalists everywhere. Finally, as Dr. Aronow recently demonstrated at the Cal/OSHA meeting in Oakland, STD infection among porn stars averages about 1.8 percent, rising to maybe 2.4 percent in a bad month—a far cry from the bullshit figures put out by the L.A. County Department of Public Health, and much closer to the population one could find in one’s neighborhood bar.

“Not to mention I caught TWO sexually transmitted diseases from porn: Herpes and HPV, which led to early cervical where I had half of my cervix removed.”

Well, you made exactly 14 porn movies between 1993 and ’95—five of which were all-girl movies—and there don’t seem to be any figures available on the web regarding how long you were a prostitute and how many (and possibly women) you serviced during that time, nor what your personal sex life has been like from your first fuck. So I think everyone can be forgiven for wondering whether you may have caught your STDs from sources other than your fellow performers. Your claim that you caught herpes and HPV in porn—both very common STDs that folks who’ve never been near a porn set nonetheless suffer from; in fact, the CDC has said that just about everyone who’s had more than two or three has been exposed to HPV—is more likely part of your “sales pitch for Jesus” than having a basis in reality.

“Mark, have you had half of your penis removed?”

Funny you should mention that! As a matter of fact, I had my prostate removed four years ago after it was discovered that I was in the early stages of prostate cancer, a disease my dad died from—a fate I didn’t wish to share.

“Yes, I know more about the greatest illusion on earth than you do Mark. Read my book, ‘Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest Illusion on Earth’ to learn about the sex industry and the circus world of porn.”

Thanks for offering me a review copy, but I have better things to do with my time than read your tripe.

“Sex Industry Facts that no true whore would argue with:

* Women are objects who sell any part of their physical, spiritual or emotional body to fulfill the sexual desire or lust of another.”

I think we’ve dealt with the “sell” part of that already, but perhaps you don’t realize that pretty much all normal people have sexual desires, and that to some extent, most (hetero) people objectify members of the opposite sex to whom they’re attracted. (Probably the same with gays.) There’s nothing wrong with that unless that’s all there is to the relationship—and if that’s the case, that would be very sad (in my opinion). But many if not most relationships start with a physical attraction; we don’t find our (eventual) lovers by groping around in the dark. Beyond that, the human condition consists of body and mind, and the relationship between them. “Spiritual” or “emotional” bodies are just part of your (religious) fantasy.

* “The sex industry lures in women and men, coerces them into doing sex acts they wouldn’t normally raise their hands to do, and forces them through pressure and threats to perform sex acts they never agreed to. Any prostitute or porn star cannot deny this and if they do, I am sure we can find proof otherwise. I love the internet.”

Well, the problem with the internet is that any asshole can post pretty much anything he/she wants, from the loftiest philosophical and scientific principles to the lowliest misinformation, bullshit and lies. Yours, of course, is the latter, as would be any websites you find that claim that adult producers “coerce [performers] into doing sex acts they wouldn’t normally raise their hands to do”—what does that even mean, anyway?—or “force them through pressure and threats to perform sex acts they never agreed to.” Have producers ever tried to convince porn stars, once they’re on the set, to perform acts they hadn’t originally contracted to do? Sure, and the AIM “Porn 101″ productions, made by working porn stars, make it very clear that the performers NEVER have to perform uncontracted-for work. Have producers FORCED them to do it? No; any performer can walk out on a production at any time if the contract has been broken. As a general rule, adult performers know what they’re getting into when they accept a job, and on set, try to do the best job they can—and they discuss the sex acts they’ll be performing in the movie with their co-star(s) and the director pretty much all the time, so everyone knows up-front what’s going to happen.

* “Yes, sex workers get paid for rape. Definitions of rape:

–noun

1. the unlawful compelling of a through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.

2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.”

As noted earlier, performers AGREE to the acts they’ll perform in the movies, so neither of these definitions apply. I have no doubt that some of your acolytes, now that they’ve got religion, have convinced themselves they were “compelled” to do this or that—not that you’ve ever investigated their claims by, for instance, speaking to the director or other performers on the set(s) where this is supposed to have occurred—but that’s the equivalent of taking someone home one night, fucking him/her and regretting it in the morning: Perhaps a bad choice but not a crime. Porn stars know (or should know, if they’ve done ANY research whatsoever) what they’re getting into in the adult industry. Many find, once they’ve tried it, that it’s not for them; others revel in the sexual freedom it gives them. YMMV.

“3. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.

4. Archaic . the act of seizing and carrying off by force.”

Neither of these apply to adult performers.

“–verb (used with object)

5. to force to have sexual intercourse.”

Porn stars aren’t “force[d] to have sexual intercourse”; it’s part of the job.

“6. to plunder (a place); despoil.

7. to seize, take, or carry off by force.

Synonyms of rape: assault, force, outrage, ravish, violate.

Sounds like porn and prostitution to me.”

Of course it does—to you. You have an agenda, largely because of your religious beliefs and the fact that you earn your income from it, to destroy the porn industry and convince performers not to take part in it. And of course, being an “anti-porn activist” fulfills the exhibitionistic part of your personality that likely drew you to the porn industry in the first place.

“Interesting to note the search term, ‘rape porn’ leads to 1,780,000 porn site results. Go look. Yes, porn and rape are connected.”

Yeah, kind of like how “Shelley Lubben” and “bullshit” are connected. Guess you never learned in science class the maxim that “correlation is not causation.”

“Yes, sex workers are physically forced and violated, abused and despoiled during the sexual act in prostitution and porn. And we want to be paid for it. Denial is our greatest defense mechanism and alcohol and drugs makes the whole sex shebang possible.”

Obviously, it’s beyond your understanding that a person might enjoy sex, might enjoy with multiple partners and in multiple situations, might enjoy the idea that millions of people—men AND women—are masturbating while watching them enjoy with their partners; that all of that gives them a thrill—and yes, it generally pays pretty well. Are there a small number of performers who have trouble with alcohol and/or drugs? Probably. Are there a number of Wall Street hedge fund managers, housewives, doctors, McDonald’s employees, secretaries, Hollywood actors, etc. who have trouble with alcohol and/or drugs. Undoubtedly. Should those folks receive treatment for their problems? Probably, if they want it. Fortunately, YOU don’t get to decide who has to go into “forced porn rehab”!

“Denial is so common in fact, that sex workers unconsciously become emotionally attached to their abusers and defend their ‘craft.’”

Wow! I had no idea you’d had extensive psychotherapy sessions with even a representative portion of the sex worker/porn performer population! Heck, I didn’t even know you’d gotten your Ph.D. in yet!

“This is why porn stars sit on pornographers’ laps and call them ‘Daddy’.”

Possibly—but of course, the vast majority of porn stars don’t do that. Then again, some performers do have “daddy fantasies” that they can’t act on in real life, so porn gives them the freedom to indulge those fantasies with older guys they can fantasize as “father figures.” That’s pretty healthy, actually—but I’m guessing you religious folks don’t have sexual fantasies … except maybe preachers like Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggart (twice!), etc.

“That’s why hot twenty year old strippers hug and kiss sixty year old strip club owners;”

Yep, I guess strippers can have “daddy fantasies” as well. As do, I’m guessing, the “sweet young things” who are attracted to Donald Trump, Fred Dalton Thompson (hell, politicians in general!), Harrison Ford—the list of mainstream “trophy wives” and “trophy girlfriends” is pretty long and distinguished. Plenty of books have been written about the psychology of “May/December romances,” but if you’re really interested, you can do your own research.

“eighteen year old prostitutes are attached to their older male pimps and so on. That’s why a group of sex workers gets together and writes a journal about ‘Research for Sex Work’.”

No, they write the journal because prostitution (and sex performing) has been around since time immemorial, and because jackasses like you think (or your income avarice and piety require you to think) that prostitutes (and porn stars) are second- or third-class human beings, so in self-defense, those who CHOOSE to make their livings by performing sex acts need to know how to keep you “Holy Roller” and moralistically motivated types (lots of them in law enforcement!) off their collective backs.

“Are you getting it yet Mark?”

Oh, I “got it” pretty much the first time I heard you speak.

“Okay, enough with the sex worker rights crap, I mean ‘craft’. Violence against sex workers happens every day in every paid and in every porn video.”

That’s a lie, of course, but the truth is, violence against sex workers happens every day because fake moralists LIKE YOURSELF, who claim to know what your alleged “God” has in mind for human beings’ sexual behavior, believe that if you can simply propagandize, arrest, imprison and/or torture enough sex workers (porn stars included), everybody will stop fucking around and only have sex in the manner prescribed by you and your ilk: Married (heterosexually), in bed, in missionary position, with the lights off and nobody watching.

“All sex workers know how to do is survive the violence. We know how to survive the rape of porn and prostitution. We know how to smile through our gritted teeth when filthy men ejaculate on our faces. We know how to breathe through our noses when our asses are being stretched more than our pair of true religions.”

Jeez, even I had to look up that last phrase! Beyond that, that’s one hell of a view you have of paid sex. To be fair, for prostitutes there’s a lot of truth in it (but see below for further comment). On the other hand, for porn stars, the so-called “filthy men” all come to the set showered and shaved because they know that if the woman they’re working with doesn’t like their personal hygiene, they’ll tell their friends on blogs and Twitter, and before you know it, the guy is on everybody’s “won’t work with” list. In a sexually sane society, these things are self-correcting. Which brings me to…

“Even your so-called journal’s admits sex workers survive by ‘staying calm’:

‘Lisa, Sonia, and Beth said that “staying calm” is an important strategy against forms of immediate harm and danger. Sonia emphasised the importance of “trusting your gut” and “not being naïve and trusting” with clients. If a client gives clear signs of being dangerous or makes her feel otherwise uncomfortable, Sonia does not let on to her fear or concern because “that could make him mad or lash out.” Instead, she appears either unaware of or indifferent towards the client’s threatening behaviour until it becomes possible to see a way out of the bad situation.’”

Of course, in a world where sex is dealt with in a sane manner, prostitutes would be allowed to practice their trade like any other professional—and have the same recourse to law enforcement protection from rapists and thieves as any other citizen. But thanks to people LIKE YOURSELF, who would deny a woman’s right to have consensual sex in any manner she chose—even to get paid for it—the normal protections afforded by police don’t apply to sex workers because, after all, what they do is ILLEGAL (in most states in the U.S.) because it violates the Eleventh Commandment: Whatever some fundamentalist preacher says God requires is Eternal Law and lesser mortals have no right to question it.

“I also hope it’s possible to help porn stars and prostitutes see their way out of a bad situation in sex work through my non-profit organization, Pink Cross, who genuinely loves and reaches out to sex workers all over the world.”

No, you don’t. I well recall seeing a blog post on your site—which I think you’ve since removed—that talked about how creepy and “unclean” you feel when talking to performers and other sex workers. You’re a hypocrite, just like so many of your fellow religionists who claim to “care” about the “sinners” they’re preaching to. Your interest is in conversion to the faith, not love—and, of course, making a buck by talking and writing about it.

“And yes, we care about your health and even defend your rights as workers and human beings. Men like Mark Kernes don’t care about your safety and health, they care about their porn.”

Well, I can’t speak for other men “like” me, but I care about human rights, about the rights of Americans under our Constitution, and as applies to this case, about the right for sex workers to practice their sexual performance ambitions and desires without being treated as second- or third-class citizens by people who claim to have some direct line to “the Almighty,” the alleged “all-powerful creator of the universe” who nonetheless personally cares who’s fucking whom, how and why.

“But I’m not sure if Mark Kernes is more interested in porn or Shelley Lubben per his recent written articles for AVN.”

It’s you, babe; it’s ALL about you. After all, you’re a legend in your own mind.

“But I genuinely appreciate the special attention and look forward to seeing you at the next ‘porn’ meeting at Calosha or maybe our State’s Capitol.

You smell that Mark? Smells like legislation.”

Nope. Just smells like more of your bullshit to me.

Make Her Want It & More

bac388f1e80294733bea23bcde339f64 Make Her Want It & More

Yes, it’s that time once again: The day we feature your and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen readers.

This week’s Q&A brings up the of how to best get a sexually aroused. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
reader’s question
Hey Dave,

What am I supposed to do in order to make a girl want ? All the time, my girl never tells me that she wants to have with me. I’m the one who is always in need of ! Help me.

Prondazi
david d. responds
Prondazi, my friend, you’re totally misfiring on this one (no pun intended).

Listen, you need to stop worrying about making this girl “want sex” from you. That’s putting the cart before the horse. Building a without matches. Trying to start a car without gasoline.

Get my point?

What you should be worried about is your lack of ability to create the sexual tension that inevitably leads to sex. Once you can do that, everything else will take care of itself. Almost automatically.

OK, so how do you create sexual tension? Here’s an example of Sexual Tension 101:

Let’s say you’re on the sofa after a night of watching Dancing With the Stars. (I feel for you.) You look over at her; she looks back at you. You want to do more than sit on the damn sofa and watch TV. You want to get things started. You want to her.

Problem is, she knows that you want to kiss her. And that makes her the one with all the power. If you try to kiss her now, it’s boring. And if you don’t try to kiss her, you have to hope that things will “heat back up” later.

So, how to proceed?

First, gain an understanding of how and why women become sexually aroused, and what they’re really communicating to . For example, in their book Sexual Interactions, Albert and Elizabeth Allgeier mention that, in one study, almost 40% of women reported refusing when they actually wanted it. They called this “The token no.” (Of course, this does not mean that a woman wants a man to force himself on her. Never force a woman to do anything.)

What it does mean is that women enjoy anticipation. And anticipation is the No. 1 way to proceed to sexual arousal.

Remember that women get turned on big time by the idea of wanting and expecting what’s going to happen. The reason why a lot of women say that they don’t want sex is simply because 99% of men don’t get this. Men act like they would enjoy it if a woman just took off her clothes and said, “Let’s do it.”

So, to create the sexual tension that leads to actual sex, become a master of creating anticipation. And to do it, I recommend a technique called “Two steps forward, one step back.” Simply put, here’s how it works:

Before you go for that kiss, lean back. Keep talking. A few minutes later, reach over and take her hand… and keep talking. Then, lean over and kiss her.

You’re not there yet. Read on to find out how to play it out…

After you’ve kissed her, stop. Lean back again. Keep talking. A few minutes later, reach over and kiss her again. This time, kiss her for a little longer. Kiss her a little deeper.

Then stop.

Lean back. Smile.

Prondazi, my friend, when you use this technique, you will be absolutely stunned at the results you get.

Instead of blowing you off, your girl will likely beg you to do more. Go further. She’ll be thinking to herself, “What’s going on here? Most guys try to push themselves on me, or they don’t do anything at all. This guy seems like he’s so in control of himself. And I keep getting more turned on. Maybe I should tell him that we’re not going to sleep together tonight. But this is so great…”

Of course, she’ll never tell you any of this. Women want men who already get it.

Become that man, Prondazi, and you’ll get all you can handle — I guarantee it.
reader’s question
Hey David,

I found a woman I really like. We have met a few times and I have also talked with her over the phone. I have followed all your advice, and I have tried not to talk to her more than two or three times a week. I really want to ask her out on a date, but does that turn me into a Wussy?

Carl, NYC
david d. responds
Well Carl, let’s break this down. First off, what exactly is a “Wussy”? I define a “Wussy” as a guy who kisses up to women. A guy who does whatever a woman wants him to do, and doesn’t even know when or if a woman is just testing him.

Basically, a Wussy is a guy who accepts manipulative behavior from women, and doesn’t care if a woman flakes out on him, takes advantage of him, or acts overly dramatic around him.

A Wussy is a guy who has no backbone, and caves when challenged by a woman. A guy who feels that he needs to buy or pay for a woman’s attention and affection with gifts, dinners, compliments, and other forms of flattery because he can’t imagine that a woman would want to be with him just for him.

In short, a Wussy is a submissive man who tries to compensate for his lack of ability to attract women by being overly accommodating and generous.

So, with all that in mind…

Nope, I don’t think you’re being a Wussy by asking her out at this point. Sounds to me like you’re doing a good job of staying confident and in control. In other words, doing what you need to do to start creating attraction with this woman, so go for it.

And nice work. Keep steering clear of all the above Wussy pitfalls, and things should work out just fine for you.

David DeAngelo is the author of the book Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, and several other products that can help men become more successful with women and dating. He also publishes a free online Dating Tips newsletter, available at DoubleYourDating.com.

Decoding Erotic Dreams

ace9aac82243dba8c83eabfec336174d Decoding Erotic Dreams

We’ve all had that dream: The naked Nordic warrior princess, the ex-, the with no face… sexual dreams are part of living with testicles.

But guess what?

These nighttime forays into fantasyland might mean a lot more psychologically than you’re giving them credit for.

Dreams are your mind’s way of exploring ideas, desires and fears that are too abstract, too disturbing or too overwhelming to think about during waking existence. And erotic dreams need not involve you in the hot tub with the Play..boy bunnies. They can be symbolic references that make statements about your emotional and erotic states without being graphic.

The purpose of these dreams is to mentally act out thoughts so you’re not repressing them any longer. It’s extremely healthy, and necessary. It’s like your mind emptying out the trash.

While dream analysis is highly subjective and can only be done accurately by a licensed psychotherapist who counsels you on a regular basis, there are a few common symbolic threads in dreams that most everyone agrees on.

But who needs professional help when you got an article on the to guide you, right?

Here’s what the most common erotic dreams mean:

The woman with no face
In this scenario you dream of sex with an anonymous, faceless woman. She’s perfectly sexy, smart, responsive, intuitive, sensitive, and familiar. But, no matter how hard you try, you cannot make out any of her features or her identity.

What it means: One meaning of this dream is simple: You desire uncomplicated sex in its most animalistic form. Essentially, your subconscious wants to use for sex without any concern for their emotions or their identity.

Another explanation comes from the famed psychologist Carl Jung who says that dreams of a perfect faceless partner are your mind’s way of telling you to embark on a journey of self-improvement. The faceless partner, he says, is really you, and the correct way to respond to this dream is by developing qualities in yourself that this “blank” partner possesses.

The surprise return of your ex
This dream finds you in with an old flame — which might be rather shocking. But fear not, this oftentimes means not that you miss your old girlfriend, but that you’re actually trying to rid them from your psyche.

What it means: For instance, if you recently met someone new, it might be your way of mentally preparing yourself for a new emotional attachment. By dreaming of your ex, your mind is trying to close the book on her.

The people appearing in your dreams represent a certain aspect of yourself. So this dream is telling you how you relate to whatever qualities your old girlfriend represents. Ask yourself how you would describe her to someone who has never met her. Is she generous, angry, or compassionate? Whatever the quality is, examine yourself and how you are relating to or using this quality in your life.

You’re about to have sex with your girl and she disappears…

The disappearing partner
This is the dream where your partner vanishes right before or during sex.

What it means: Besides the overt meanings of fear of abandonment and frustration with unreliable partners, this dream can mean you aren’t feeling confident.

Hooking up with a coworker
In this familiar dream, you have sex with someone you work with, which is all fine and good when it’s the hot 21-year-old girl in your department. It might not be so grand if it’s the wrinkled 60-year-old secretary.

What it means: This dream is a sexual metaphor that might mean nothing more than that you enjoy the professional bond you share with your coworker. Though it might be hard to believe, it probably just means that you are comfortable with them.

Sex on display
You dream you are in a public place with strangers watching.

What it means: This dream can point to a fear of sexual intimacy, or anxiety about being vulnerable or being caught off guard. For instance, having this dream after having talked your girlfriend into some exotic kind of kinky sex may signal that you feel guilty.

The dream may also be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Clothes being a metaphor for your public persona, the loss of them can mean a fear of others knowing who you really are.

The homosexual dream
Simply put, this dream involves having some type of sexual intercourse with another man.

What it means: The most common explanation for dreams where you have sex with another man is not that you want to switch teams, but that you want your female partner to act more “manly.” You see, some psychologists explain same-sex activity in dreamland as meaning that you desire your woman to display so-called “male” strength qualities like logic, reason or dominance.

So don’t worry about your . Experts also generally agree that if homoerotic dreams upset you, then you are probably not a homosexual.

You suffer from erectile dysfunction
You’re in the middle of getting it on, but simply can’t get it up, for whatever reason. This is similar to a very common paralysis dream where you find yourself unable to move — in this case, it’s a failure to coax your unit to perform.

What it means: Depending on the context, this might mean that you feel powerless or paralyzed in other areas of your life. For example, if you have this dream during a time that you’re looking for a new job or trying to get a promotion at work, it may signal your frustration with getting ahead in life.

Erotic dreams are about more than sex
Most psychologists agree that dreams hold deep subconscious meaning, even if they don’t make sense to you when you wake up. But pay attention to them; it just might be your Id trying to tell you something about your sex life.

What To Do When You’re Not In The Mood

1c224b2861662077cd91e45364b59952 What To Do When Youre Not In The Mood

You’re about to hop between the sheets with a lovely Tyra Banks look-alike, but your energy level is at an all-time low. Maybe you worked out earlier that day or eight strenuous hours at the office pilfered the last of your vigor.

What can you do to have pleasurable sex despite feeling sluggish?

It’s time to call on the sex solutions listed below.

You feel stuffed, bloated
Steak, gravy, potatoes, greens, and dessert — not to mention the wine you sucked down during your marathon dinner — have left you feeling stuffed out of your gut. You’re feeling full and are not exactly in the mood for love.

What to do beforehand: Take an antacid to clear up indigestion and that too-full feeling. Then move around some and get active to digest. Or you can stall her by watching a feature-length film. By the time the credits roll, your meal should be good and digested. If you’re feeling gassy, go to the bathroom to evacuate before things get hot and heavy.

What to do in : If you’re still lethargic, use a vibrator to get her started. Some guys are threatened by these little devices, but they’re really a blessing in disguise when you don’t feel like doing anything laborious. Just think of it like a power tool; it’s just making your life easier. By the time you take over for your little battery-powered stand-in, she’ll be very happy to welcome you in.

You’re tipsy
Drinking and sex go hand in hand; unfortunately drinking and erections sometimes don’t. So this can present a major obstacle when opportunity knocks on your bedroom door.

What to do beforehand: Walk it off with a couple of laps around the neighborhood or do some exercises, like a few push-ups, to regain your sobriety. And drink a big glass of water too.

What to do in bed: Use your fingers or a vibrator to stimulate her before you try for penetration. Or perform if you’re sure you’re not even the slightest bit queasy. When you actually begin , try to focus on finishing in a timely fashion. Close your eyes and think of the hottest, craziest sex you’ve ever had. Help yourself get the job done.

If you didn’t sleep well or you worked out too hard, here’s what you gotta do…

You didn’t sleep well the night before
After you pull an all-nighter, it’s pretty ambitious to try anything involving a bed beyond sleeping like a baby. But sometimes, when duty calls, you gotta perform.

What to do beforehand: Although it’s the obvious pick-me-up, caffeine just ain’t gonna work here. Caffeine is known to shrink your or thwart lift-off completely. So avoid it and instead drink water. H2O wakes you up when you’re waning and won’t mess with your stick. An may also be of use here.

What to do in bed: What you need to do is cut to the chase with a passionate quickie. Shorten the , forget multiple positions and concentrate on the good part — the climax. Soon enough, she’ll be pleased and so will you.

You’re exhausted from physical activity
Okay, maybe you didn’t complete the triathlon, but if you’re a normal guy, two miles on the treadmill can make you feel like it. Feeling physically spent will really limit your options for sex, so you need to either recuperate in a hurry or depend on her to pick up the slack.

What to do beforehand: Drink an energy drink like , SoBe or PimpJuice to get your juices pumping. Figure out which one of the many revitalizing concoctions out there has the optimal effect on you.

What to do in bed: Once you’re in bed with her, get a little lazy and let her spoil you. She can do most of the work this time. And there are lots of things she can do with almost no effort from you: fellatio, her on top, etc. You get the picture.

You take medication
Medication can make you tired and weak, and leave you feeling sexually frustrated. Painkillers and anti-depressants are the major culprits here. These substances can clear-cut your sex drive and saw down your performance like Paul Bunyan in the Amazon rainforest.

What to do beforehand: Some doctors advocate skipping doses of your medication if you have trouble achieving sexual satisfaction. Obviously, check with your physician first to make sure this is okay to do.

What to do in bed: A lot of times, if medication is hampering your main vein, you’re working on borrowed time. Once 10 to 15 minutes go by, you could be out of luck. Moral of the story? Try to get the job done fast if you’re at risk of losing your erection. Hit it while you’re hot.

Get the most done, with the least effort
If you play your cards right, the sex doesn’t have to suffer because you ran out of gas after a long day. This is your chance to work on your foreplay skills. Tease her, try to make her come, make her wait for penetration — then keep it short. Stick to the essentials and don’t get too fancy.