June 19, 2013

Posts Comments

You are here: Home / Archives for revenge

Laughing About Your Spouse’s Ridiculous Behavior Is the Key to a Happy Marriage

February 1, 2013 By Leave a Comment

027ec4201a1af9d13b0351f480ab2eae Laughing About Your Spouses Ridiculous Behavior Is the Key to a Happy Marriage

(PhatzNewsRoom / The Stir) — This week my husband was away on business for a , but before he left, he made his famous “lentil beef” Crock-Pot recipe. As you might imagine, having a pre-made meal was a huge help being alone with four kids, and I thanked him for making it.

Of course, it only involved him putting beef and a can of lentil soup in a slow cooker and turning it on, but whatever. It tastes good and the kids love it.

But when he got home the next day, he decided to make a huge deal about how awesome he was for cooking it. And you might be surprised at how I responded.

I’d like to think I’m a bit of a scorekeeper due to my near-photographic memory, but really, when you’ve got a husband who travels and you’re home with four kids, it’s really easy to get caught up in keeping track of how you’ve had alone or how many diapers you’ve changed.

Over the years, I’ve gotten a lot better about ditching the , mostly because I know how much damage it can do to a . And because he’s gotten a bit better about being more appreciative of what I do while he’s gone.

So when he decided to gloat about the one meal he’s made compared to my 40,000 (a low, ), I didn’t do what I wanted to do, which was remind him of every single time I’ve made numerous meals for him when I travel. Or all the dinners and lunches and breakfasts I make pretty much every .

That doesn’t mean I didn’t mention them. But I did it with , rather than .

And instead of turning the ridiculousness into a pretty big fight about who does more, we just had a hearty chuckle about his amazing two-ingredient Crock-Pot meal.

In all , I still think it’s more than silly for him to brag about the meal he made given the . It would be like me reminding him constantly about the one time I mowed the lawn or washed the car, two things that are decidedly his “jobs” around the house.

But I’m proud of myself that I was able to leave the score sheet tucked away in my drawer and just enjoy my husband’s need for attention. Besides, as I try to remind myself, when it comes to parenting and — if I weren’t laughing, I’d probably be crying.

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Interests Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to Get Over Your Anger After a Breakup

April 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

7d4ade850a13ac4420bf58eb0dfbc22f How to Get Over Your Anger After a Breakup

(Phatforums News / The Stir) — is a lot like grieving, which, in a sense you are. Grief is generally thought of to be something that happens when someone we love passes away. But grief is more than that – it’s all about loss, and breaking up from a is a loss. It’s the loss of a future together. The loss of dreams. The loss of me + you = love.

One of the is , and is something so many of us struggle with as we grieve the end of a relationship. Here are some tips for getting through the part of a breakup.

Talk about your feelings with people you can trust who will understand. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel mixed up inside – especially if the breakup was unexpected or was triggered by a particular event. So let it out.

Break something, like plates, somewhere safe. When you’re full of anger, you’ve got to get it out. Go to the thrift store, buy some cheap dishes or , and find a safe place to throw them. It’s hugely satisfying and allows you to get that anger out safely.

Make a mix playlist on your of some good angry breakup songs and listen to it whenever you’re feeling angry. I suggest taking a nice long drive while listening to your break-up mix. It helps.

Don’t get revenge. You may think that revenge is a great idea, especially if your (now) ex ended things badly (such as by cheating on you). It’s not. While it may make you feel better to plan some revenge, don’t act on it – you don’t want to look childish and stupid.

Retrain yourself away from thinking about your ex. It’s hard at first, but every time he (or she) pops into your head, think about a purple monkey. Or an . Anything but your ex.

. Into a pillow or in the middle of the woods – anywhere that your won’t call the police on you. It helps to get some of that out in a .

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Interests Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Taliban claim suicide bombing that killed 6 in Pakistan

December 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

e8c41381af06e952beab177849359581 Taliban claim suicide bombing that killed 6 in Pakistan

cordon-off the site of a suicide car bombing in Bannu.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS

NEW: The attack has killed six Pakistani soldiers and wounded 18, a says
The Taliban say the attack was in revenge for the killing of their fighters
The attack occurred along ’s volatile near Afghanistan
A suicide targeted a Pakistani military housing area, an official says

(CNN) — The Taliban are claiming responsibility for a suicide car bombing Saturday that struck a military housing area in Pakistan, a for the group said.

The attack, which say killed six Pakistani soldiers, was “revenge” for the killing of the group’s fighters, Ihsanullah Ihsan, a spokesman for the Pakistani Taliban, told CNN by telephone.

The attack occurred when the explosive-laden car rammed into a house in the city of Bannu, a senior police official told CNN.

The house is used by Pakistani soldiers to rest and relax, said the , Gul Syed Afridi.

He said 18 soldiers were wounded. About 100 soldiers were at the house at the time of the , he said.

The attack comes as Pakistan’s military is under fire by Yousuf Raza Gilani for what he has claimed are military plots to topple the government.

The Pakistani military has denied Gilani’s claims.

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, World Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Confessions: 7 reasons why women cheat

July 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

f0dd99db51080e25ba6e6c1b1288ef6d Confessions: 7 reasons why women cheat

( Blog/ Match.com) - You’ve probably heard that men cheat for physical reasons, women for emotional reasons. Sure, there’s some truth to that, but when we asked real women around the country to share why they strayed from their , we learned they had a whole host of — from bad kissing to sheer revenge. Read on for the truth about why women have given in to .

Reason #1: There’s no
“I had been with John for about three years — he was a really , and I enjoyed being with him, but there wasn’t a ton of passion. Most everyone we knew had gotten engaged, and though John would have proposed in a second, whenever he brought it up, I’d change the subject. I took a trip to Australia for work and while I was gone, I got together with a to whom I’d always been insanely attracted. I had a fantastic trip, probably because for the first time in a long time I experienced that excitement I’d been missing. I broke up with John soon after I returned home and began dating the guy from the trip. Even though I’m not super-proud of my actions, things ended up for the best: after dating for a few years, the guy from the trip and I got married and we’re incredibly happy together.”
– Giselle, 30, Montvale, NJ

Reason #2: To delay a breakup
“Right before I was going to break up with my ex, Sean, he found out that he had to put his beloved dog to sleep. He was so broken up about it that I didn’t have the heart to end things, so I waited a month or so until he was in better . When things seemed to be better and I was ready, he lost his job, so I felt like I was back to square one! By that time I had met someone else that I really wanted to start seeing, so I went ahead and did it. I eventually ended things, never telling Sean about my extracurricular dating. I think I rationalized that I was trying to spare his feelings.”
– , 30, Lexington, KY

Reason #3: Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
“My boyfriend Greg and I decided to do the long-distance thing after I was accepted to a graduate program 200 miles from where we lived. The first few months were fine, but I soon found myself becoming extremely attracted to my lab partner, Henry. What began as innocent flirting eventually wound up with us getting physical. After the program was over, I returned home to Greg. Being with him was really difficult, but I didn’t break up with him initially because I was still attracted to him, too. I visited Henry a few times and realized that he was really more of a fling, probably done out of boredom, and that Greg was the one for me. I eventually stopped communicating with Henry. I never told Greg about what happened, which occasionally makes me feel guilty, but I chalk my cheating up to being young and silly. He and I are still together, four years after my program ended.”
– Tamara, 33, Portland, OR

Reason #4: To avoid being left out in the cold
“I began dating Eric shortly after I had been dumped by Dave, my boyfriend of two years. I was devastated and Eric was definitely a rebound thing. After Eric and I had dated for five months, Dave came back and wanted to give things another shot. I still really missed him, so I began seeing him, but never ended things with Eric. I think I sort of kept Eric around for insurance purposes, just in case things didn’t end up well with Dave. Dave and I didn’t make it on round two, and after Eric discovered through mutual friends that I had been seeing him again, he ended things with me. I definitely learned my lesson about dating two guys at the same time, not to mention trying to rekindle a that’s just plain over.”
– Jen, 28, Oak Park, IL

Reason #5: To make a break from a bad relationship
“When I was younger, I dated a guy named Ethan who was really critical of me. He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was. For whatever odd reason, I was into him, despite the fact that all of my hated him. One weekend when he was away, I met Will at a party and we completely hit it off. He was the complete opposite of Ethan — kind, sweet and generous, yet completely cool and fun, too. We hung out all weekend and it was like a light bulb went off in my head: This is how mature, relationship-worthy guys act. I kissed Will the night before he left and broke up with Ethan soon after. Will and I dated for three years and now we’re married.”
– Allison, 30, New York, NY

Reason #6: To find that missing piece
“I’m from Florida, so I adore going to the beach and boating, but my former boyfriend, Chris, a total city boy, hated it. We always argued about where we’d take trips, and he always won. About eight months into our relationship, I took a trip to Key West with my friends and we chartered a boat for the day. The captain of the boat was this totally hot, complete ‘beach guy for life’ type, and I spent the whole day flirting with him. We met him out that night and spent time alone together. I never told Chris about it after I got home and I never felt guilty; I think part of me felt like that’s what Chris got for being so stubborn! Chris and I didn’t make it, and after we broke up, I made sure any future boyfriends loved the beach!”
– Lizzie, 32, Chicago, IL

Reason #7: To give him a taste of his own medicine
“My last boyfriend was a total player before we got together. I thought I could change him but I was wrong. I always heard rumors that he was seeing other girls while we were dating, but he always denied it. One night, I got a call from a girl he had been secretly dating, and she detailed their three-month-long relationship to me and told me about another girl she had discovered he was seeing as well. I was so mad that I went out with my friends that night, dressed to kill, and spent time with the most attractive guy; I felt like it was the least he deserved! I loved seeing the look on his face when I told him about what I did and that I knew about the other girls. And then I dumped him!”
– Ashante, 25, College Park, GA

Chelsea Kaplan is a Senior Editor at The Family Groove. Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.rumymother.blogspot.com. For the other side of the story, read Confessions: 8 reasons men cheat.

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Living Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 timeless relationship truths

June 10, 2011 By Leave a Comment

d690fda4c9da11bdd95fbcfec0866206 10 timeless relationship truths

(Phatforums / Match.com) - We’ve all offered up that sympathetic shoulder for our friends to cry on. We’ve gotten that frantic, tearful phone call from our after a breakup to soothe a broken (or at least seriously dented) heart. We’ve offered advice, given , and even conspired to help them seek revenge on the exes who wronged them a time or two. And in most cases, we’ve vowed not to repeat some of the same mistakes in our own love lives. Easier said than done, though, isn’t it?

Our lifestyles may change, our priorities might shift, but there are a few lessons in love that remain timeless. Below is a of 10 hard-and-fast dating and truths that, unfortunately, many of us have had to watch our friends learn the hard way:

1. Don’t expect others to always help you find dates. Who wouldn’t want to boast that they were responsible for bringing you two crazy kids together at the wedding? But if it seems as though it never works out with the guys or girls your friends set you up with, it might be time to stop letting them play . Other peoples’ acquaintances may genuinely not be a good match for you, after all. If that’s the case, then stop asking them to set you up or politely decline the next time someone offers to make an introduction on your behalf. Instead, change your approach — give online dating a try or work up the to say hello to the next person who catches your eye.

2. Nurture your individual self after coupling up with someone. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to cut all ties with your in favor of with your sweetheart. Make an effort to keep up your regular routines and spend time on the hobbies you enjoyed when you were single. Your significant other should bring out the best in you, not try to change you completely or monopolize your time and attention. By nurturing yourself as an individual, you’ll keep the relationship fresh, exciting and interesting.

3. are hard work. You can’t expect to work 12-hour days or keep the same social schedule you had in college without it eventually putting a major strain on your love life. There are more stressors in our lives and demands on our time than ever before — everyone is trying to do so much more with a lot less, whether it’s time, money or attention. But if you don’t put your relationship near the top of your priority list, you shouldn’t be surprised when you get the “I think we need to see other people” talk. If you’re crazy in love but also crazy-busy at the same time, you might want to rearrange your schedules to fit in more quality time together as a couple. And make sure you’re both making the effort to keep that spark alive. “A relationship should have its ups as well as downs. If it’s all hard work, though, stop trying to make it work and just get out,” advises Shannon Fox, coauthor of the recent book, Last One Down the Aisle Wins.

4. You can only cry “wolf” so many times before people stop listening. You love your partner one minute, and then hate him or her with the next breath. Some high-maintenance couples thrive on the excitement of on again/off again relationships. That’s fine, but don’t keep dragging your friends into it (or letting yourself get dragged into a friend’s drama, either). People can only counsel and console each other so much — don’t keep expecting your friends’ sympathy the next time you split up. Figure out why you keep getting back together with a seemingly toxic match and either try to make it work one last time — or cut that person loose for good. (When and if you do, remember to apologize to your friends for not listening the first time.)

5. Sure, maybe that cheating ex has changed — but probably not. We want to be supportive when a friend tries to reconcile with a dirty, cheating ex, but unfortunately, we know that old habits are not easily fixed. It’s even harder to accept when we’re the one faced with a dirty cheater ourselves. Hear the cheater out, but go with your instincts — it takes a lot of work to rebuild broken trust. “He or she is not going to get over ingrained bad habits, addictions, or character flaws. This type of person is not in control, and it would take years to get that kind of behavior under control, so there’s no hope here. Face the loss, let go, grieve as much as you need, and move on,” suggests Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again.

6. Resist the urge to use the “It’s not you, it’s me” line during a breakup. Your soon-to-be-ex knows that’s not true, by the way. You know it’s just an excuse people use so they don’t have to go into detail, so get to the point: be honest, but consider the other person’s , too. The truth might sting, but if you have specific reasons why you’re no longer in love with him or her, it’s better to share them now than give the other person false hope that a future reunion might happen. In the long run, honesty pays off much more than a terrible love cliché ever could.

7. When the relationship ends, a clean break is always best. If you’re serious about splitting, don’t let things linger. Collect whatever possessions you might have left at your ex’s place and don’t wait by the phone, hoping for a call. By sticking to the “no contact” rule (no texting, emailing, or stalking each other online!), you’ll be able to focus on what’s important: yourself. Give the other person (and yourself) time to heal and move on with as few distractions as possible.

8. After a breakup, take time to let yourself mourn. Don’t feel pressured by Mom or anyone else in your life to get back on the dating scene before you’re ready. “Breakups are messy. This is your time to be in the moment, for good or for bad. If you put too much pressure on yourself right away to ‘get over it,’ you will only prolong the inevitable crash,” says Paige H., a 28-year-old communications director from Wilmington, DE. Sure, you could be meeting some great people — but it won’t matter if your heart’s not into dating again right now. Grieving helps you process your emotions and stop and think before repeating any past relationship mistakes with someone new.

9. Move on — but avoid rebound flings if you can. Resist the urge to hook up with the first guy or gal who gives you a second glance once you’re officially single again. Give yourself some time to get over your last relationship before you go after someone new, even if you crave the self-esteem boost that a fling could (temporarily) give you right now. Otherwise, you risk leading someone on and spreading your own heartbreak along to an innocent party. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to the other person, either.

10. Watch out for odd behavior following a breakup. Maybe you suddenly decide it’s time to lose those 30 extra pounds or get inspired to paint your kitchen lime green. Go for it! Some of these changes may be good for you; others… well, let’s chalk them up to a case of temporary insanity. (If the urge to do something truly bizarre and out-of-character hits, call a trusted friend to talk it over first.) A little experimenting with your look, surroundings or routine is normal; after all, it’s all part of getting to know yourself again after a split.

Armed with these time-worn tips, you should be more than ready to tackle a new relationship when the time is right — or have a handy cheat sheet on standby for the next friend that calls you looking for advice on how to deal with his or her own dating drama!

Sara Hodon is a freelance writer based in Northeast Pennsylvania. She is a former columnist for Online Dating Magazine and has not written a book about her experiences in the online dating world (but easily could).

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Interests Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dude’s List: 11 Reasons He Can’t Keep It in His Pants or Out of another Woman’s

April 14, 2011 By Leave a Comment

74f332ad9e16267bcc4caf93d1b27370 Dude’s List: 11 Reasons He Can’t Keep It in His Pants or Out of another Woman’s

( / CCD) – They say that 60% of all men cheat and 70% of the women who’re being cheated on pretend it’s not happening. Well, I’m not sure if I believe in statistics (or that Justin Bieber’s got testicles) but I have known me some men who’ve crossed the fidelity line. Why? What lead them astray? What could possibly compel them to? Should you forgive him?

Ladies, we’re going for a ride inside 11 (anybody can do 10!) cheatin’ causes. Let me make this clear: I’m here to offer you reasons for why he cheats, not excuses he gives you after you’ve caught him cheating.

1. f**k!
This is purely out of . You got caught and he took the opportunity to stick it to you by sticking into another woman. It ain’t mature and gets messy as Hell. Which is worse, the first offense or the last?

2. You haven’t seen each other in 6 months
Absence could make the heart grow fonder but also the pee-pee wander. You can almost track your connection slipping away across the map on your ’s GPS. Soon, each day you feel yourself growing apart from one another and then an opportunity arises, an oasis in the desert of and isolation. So, he takes a drink. Don’t let anyone fool ya, the LDR ain’t for the weak willed.

3. He thinks he found something better
In my guestimation, this is about the scariest one on this list. The can be going great. You’ve never even had a ! Then, WHAM! Sparks are flying. Unfortunately, they’re flying with another woman who came from out of nowhere. He makes a choice, he’s “gotta know.” This one’s the heartbreaker, kids.

4. The “what if” girl
You’ve probably met her! You’ve at least heard fifty thousand stories about their high school adventures or their elementary school daze. She was his first crush. Maybe she was his “one that got away.” The friend, perhaps? But she’s never been interested or they’ve never been single at the same time. Turned out, all it took was her being single and interested at any time.

5. Commitment phobia
Only one woman to have sex with? For, like, ever? Or, like, the foreseeable future? Or, like, the past week? We’ve all crossed paths with people who just aren’t built for monogamy.

6. Boredom
Believe it or not, according to a few studies, and some field work on my part, this is the most common answer men give for why they cheat. The word even sounds dull and empty when you say it. Try it. “Boredom.” He’s tired of steak for every meal. So, he goes out for a burger, just for a change of pace. Fast food f*cking as it were.

7. Sexaholic
There is a legit diagnosis for sex addiction. Nymphomaniacs walk among us. There are people who literally cannot function unless the first thing they do in the morning is go on Adult Friend Finder (or eduhookups) and make a date with a stranger for later that night. These people have to have sex. It’s a disease… (Tissue? Anyone?)

8. For the thrill
At first glance, you might think this falls under number 6 on the list. You’d be off by just a hair. Some guys cheat because they are turned on at the thought of getting caught. He has to basically make up two different lives with two different people (or however many as he’s from). The fact you might catch him is the adrenaline rush he’s looking for. Cheating’s taboo. People get off on taboos. That’s why they’re taboos.

9. He’s feeling neglected and unfulfilled from your relationship
“Infidelity’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.” To which came the famous reply, “Yeah? Well now that symptom is f*cking my wife.” Rob Reiner did make great movies once…I digress. Sometimes the greatest distance between two people is the six inch chasm between his side and her side of the bed. Something’s wrong and neither of you are talking about it. A lot of times this is the result of the problem being bottled up until you both feel suffocated. So, he looks for an oxygen mask to fall from the ceiling, and her name is Jenny. And her breasts are bigger than yours.

10. He’s a narcissistic prick who doesn’t care
He’s a dick and that’s all he thinks with. He might not even remember your last name half the time. Yet you are surprised when he treats you exactly the way your mom, sister, , co-worker, therapist, and priest predicted he would. I know what you’re thinking, “how could it happen? He’s a Leo and I’m a Scorpio! It was meant to be!” Unfortunately, you’re not the center of this guy’s universe. His penis is, and every woman is just another planet to orbit around it.

11. He was drunk
I’ve saved what I predict will be the most debated for last. Is this really a reason? Or is this just an excuse? After all, he made a choice. Alcohol only takes away inhibitions, not desires. I put this one out there solely for discussion. He might have been drunk enough to think he was having sex with you. He might have been so wasted he doesn’t remember what he did or why. Is this one a matter of severity? If he’s only tipsy then is it just an excuse but if he’s truly lost all sense of judgment and control then is it a reason?

Here’s the hardest pill to swallow, ladies. All men involved in a relationship, at one point or another, think about or imagine what it would be like to cheat. Some guys even get little crushes on other women. Some of them just let it go at the fantasy. Some of them cross the line, and then you’ve gotta “nail, his, ASS!”

That’s all.

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Interests Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

How To Get Revenge on Your Significant Other

March 28, 2011 By Leave a Comment

0855d8b5786ab970a66248ae95b8b9fe How To Get Revenge on Your Significant Other

( / Marie Claire) – When I was my last girlfriend, I got spiteful at times. When she forgot to text me when she got home after going out with her friends, I vowed to “forget” to tell her when I got home after a night out. When she’d forget to write back to a question via text, I’d add to my running tally of times I’d ignore her questions on text. It was an …and somewhat immature.

Dating makes us vengeful. Here are some examples of how we seek revenge in dating:

Flirting
This kind of revenge plays itself out consistently throughout relationships. Usually, when a couple goes out, one person in the couple gets hit on or talks “too long” to someone of the opposite sex.

At this point, the other person in the couple can either integrate themselves into the conversation, stand there looking stupid, or flirt someone on their own for their significant other to see. Sometimes, it’s about saying: “Hey look, I’m desirable too,” or “if you’re going to flirt, then I will too.”

Sex With a “Strategic” Person
Unfortunately, people don’t always take sex seriously. This can be used as a vehicle for revenge. For example the “pole theory” — pursuing people with relationships on both ends of the spectrum of your significant other’s life. In other words, someone that is close to them (like a ) or someone they hate (like your ex).

Don’t get me wrong, if you have sex with a random it will obviously upset your significant other. But it stings more if you have sex with someone they love or hate.

Regardless of Actual
I’m guilty of this immature . A girl once told me she only liked me as a friend, and “valued” that . So, I packed this rejection away in my mind, knowing that she’d be back wanting more. Over the next few months I was an attractive friend who did his best to make himself look desirable to many women in front of my friend. I wanted her to realize she missed a chance…so I could have my chance at revenge.

Sure enough, eventually she told me she had a change of heart. I didn’t hesitate to consider if I still had feelings for her. I told her: “Too bad, I only like you as a friend.”

Who knows if I ruined a chance at a great ? I was more intent on evening up the rejection score.

What do you think of my list and what ways would you add to the list. Have you ever been a victim of revenge, or sought revenge on a significant other? If so, how?

Share|

Related Links:

  • No Related Links
Filed Under: Featured, Living Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,