May 20, 2013

Why are single women portrayed so negatively?

Why are women portrayed so negatively in film Why are single women portrayed so negatively?

(PhatzNewsRoom / Match.com) — Poor . America’s comedy sweetheart has enjoyed wholehearted support from fans since 2000, when the actress/comedienne burst onto the scene as a regular anchor of the popular “Weekend Update” segment and lead comedy writer on . Since then, she has received seven Emmy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards, four Screen Actors Guild Awards, and four Awards. The Associated Press, who gave her their AP Entertainer of the Year award, singled her out as the performer who had the greatest impact on culture and entertainment in 2008.

But now, it seems, a certain segment of the population has fallen out of love with Fey — , a group whom she has represented on screens both small and large in the past decade.

Her character on 30 Rock, Liz Lemon, is easily one of the country’s most prominent icons of single womanhood today. Yet Lemon herself is a mess: fussy, neurotic, sneaky, grossly insecure and prone to binge eating. (And of course, she can also be endearing and very, very funny.) She didn’t do single women any favors, either, with her film role in , playing a stereotypical type A executive who wants a child so desperately she hires a sociopathic surrogate to have one for her. Perhaps the was her appearance in April 2010 on Saturday Night Live; Fey played a lonely teacher lusting after a teenaged student (played by a skittish ) in one skit; in another, she portrayed a single woman longing for a husband you could bake from a box of chocolate brownie mix. (The commercial’s tagline: “The perfect blend of rich fudge and .”)

Enough was enough. The knives came out in various media outlets across America: from Salon.com to Newsweek, from op-ed sites like Shakesville to Slate — not so much to eviscerate Fey, but to dissect why she felt compelled to make single women look so bad in most of the scripts and characters she’d created. Was Fey a hater? Or was she just poking fun at the ridiculous images our culture still propagates in the media of the cat-hoarding, lonely spinster?

This isn’t the first time we’ve been through a round of hissing at a character that was the opposite of the smart, capable, unmarried woman. When Bridget Jones’s Diary became a bestseller, then a movie, we rolled our eyes at Bridget’s embarrassingly desperate moves in an attempt to get any man’s attention — as well as her unfortunate choice to slide down a fireman’s pole in a short skirt.

Then, as now, the protests seemed a bit “too little, too late.” Historically, single women have never been treated kindly by Hollywood — especially when you look at those roles created for women approaching 40 and beyond, like 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon. Hollywood apologists would almost certainly argue that they are simply reflecting certain stereotypes that our culture expects to see when it comes to portraying unmarried ladies. But at some point, it’s hard to tell which came first — the chicken or the egg.

When Sandra Bullock (another “America’s Sweetheart” — even our military agrees) split from her husband, she was initially portrayed in the media as a tragic figure: her Oscar win soured by the painful scandal; suddenly, Sandra was a new mother whose husband had cheated on her and lied about it before they could even announce their newborn son’s adoption to the world. It was almost strange to see the photos in People magazine of Bullock shortly after the scandal broke, grinning ear to ear with her darling months-old baby, Louis, saying how happy she was, regardless of her impending divorce. Happy… and single? Is that even possible?

Jennifer Aniston is the patron saint of single women over 40 for coming through her ugly split with Brad Pitt with her dignity and sense of humor firmly intact. In the years since, every magazine article about her seems compelled to note how “unlucky in love” Aniston is — despite the fact that she’s dated some of the hottest guys on the planet: Gerard Butler, John Mayer, Tate Donovan and Bradley Cooper. I think many of us wish we had her “bad luck” in love.

On the small screen, Courteney Cox, Aniston’s best friend and former costar, doesn’t help dissuade the viewing public from seeing single women as hapless creatures, either. Her show, Cougar Town, is certainly funny — but it also has more than its share of jokes about hormones, shifting body shapes and desperate trysts with younger men. Jenna Elfman, star of the canceled series Accidentally On Purpose, didn’t fare much better as an entertainment journalist with a messy personal life who got knocked up after a one-night stand and decided to keep the baby.

Mariska Hargitay of the long-running show Law & Order: SVU portrays a slightly more realistic single female character — Olivia Benson, who seems to be a strong, well-put-together and savvy woman. However, the show’s plotline seems to indicate that her ongoing inner turmoil over the dark chapters in her family’s history have ultimately kept Benson single and incapable of maintaining successful long-term relationships. Even more damaged is Holly Hunter’s titular character in the darkly entertaining (but canceled) series, Saving Grace; her exploits included having encounters in public restrooms with strangers while intoxicated.

Well, ladies, it seems we’ve come a long way since The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Or have we?

On the big screen, famous single female characters have included so-called “bunny boilers” (Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction), ice-pick-wielding killers (Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct), psycho nannies (Rebecca de Mornay in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle), infatuated stalkers (Jessica Walters in Play Misty for Me and Ali Larter in Obsessed) and even former Nazis with dark secrets (Kate Winslet in The Reader).

OK, so those examples are a bit extreme. And, in truth, it seems that things might be looking up based on recent, successful films with unmarried women as their main characters. In 2009, two wonderful roles were at the center of some huge box office hits: It’s Complicated starring Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock’s The Proposal. Both characters had nuance, style, humor, smarts and substance (though Bullock hit some too-worn notes as a controlling executive). And both stars carried the movies they were in with top billing in the films’ respective marketing campaigns.

Could this be a sign? Might better, smarter single female characters become the standard in Hollywood? Female audiences have longed for characters and storylines that actually reflect all aspects of a “normal” single woman’s life; we are neither desperate cougars nor lonely spinsters, hapless geeks nor ticking biological clocks — but we often find ourselves in a place somewhere within the Venn diagram of overlapping stereotypes.

One can hope, but only time — and a few box office successes — will tell.

Perhaps Fey’s problem is that she has no idea what single life is really like for women these days since she’s been happily married for years to 30 Rock’s composer, Jeff Richmond. I invite Fey to ask her single friends to regale her with positive anecdotes about their lives. I suspect she would find her single friends’ lives to be significantly less pathetic than she’d like to joke that they are… even if it does make for good TV.

Jane Ganahl is author of Naked on the Page: The Misadventures of My Unmarried Midlife, editor of the anthology Single Woman of a Certain Age, journalist of two decades, and codirector of San Francisco’s Litquake literary festival.

Sleeping on Your Stomach Is an Easy Way to Have Sexy Dreams

85ad832713d4fdbbbfd8592c54f616b7 Sleeping on Your Stomach Is an Easy Way to Have Sexy Dreams

( News / The Stir) — Wanna have sexy dreams? Don’t bother with some crazy, dream-programming app, and to hell with aroma therapy candles and or silk lingerie, all you need to do is lie on your . New research out of Hong Kong survey 670 students and found that those who slept on their had more erotic dreams than the lame-o side and back . On the , they also reported having more dreams about persecution and being locked up, but shh. Let’s just focus on the positive.

So what’s the science behind the stomach sleepers having all the nighttime fun?

Researchers hypothesize that sleeping on one’s stomach constricts airflow to the brain, which can result in a feeling of being restricted. And maybe being restricted, aka restrained, is a turn-on for some sleeping beauties?

If you’ve been hearing all about how Fifty has given your friends incredible dreams, and you have yet to experience a sexy-time slumber, maybe swivel from your side to your stomach. Get one of those stomach-sleeper at IKEA, hit the lights, and enjoy.

It’s a shame if you’re pregnant — I can’t imagine that sleeping on your stomach would be particularly comfortable when you’ve got a child growing inside of you, but who knows, maybe you’ve cut a stomach- in your mattress. I hear, see number 39, that women can get pretty horny when they’re pregnant … maybe a good stomach sleep is all one really needs to feel satisfied, in more ways than one, when they wake up.

Even though the study only tracked, in research terms, a handful of people, it’s cool to “know” that sleep positions have an effect on our dreams. No word on what back sleepers are prone to envision in their sleep, but if this case study of one (me!) is any indication, they dream a lot about cheese, meeting , and I’ll be honest, makes more appearances than I’m really willing to admit.

White House Easter egg roll keeps getting bigger

a10f37b25c73f97498a80b6d74f94dd1 White House Easter egg roll keeps getting bigger

WASHINGTON — He has a $14.3 trillion national debt, an 8.8% , two wars and a re-election campaign to worry about. Even so, President Obama is making time Monday to have 30,000 people over for eggs.

Not just any eggs: .

And not just any people: More people than on any other day of the year. People from every state. Famous people like singer Colbie Caillat and TV star Kelly Ripa, the and Sesame Street’s Elmo.

The White House Easter Egg Roll has been a fixture since 1878. Its evolution into a star-studded, 11-hour eggs-travaganza featuring live music, dancing, sports and even yoga has been building over the past 30 years.

During George W. Bush’s last years as president, he hosted Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. Last year, showed up. This year, the hit singer is Caillat.
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Since Barack and entered the White House, the event has taken on a certain athleticism. The traditional egg-rolling and egg-hunting will be accompanied by basketball and tennis training, football and baseball , a yoga garden and farmer’. Even the theme carries an admonition from the first lady’s Let’s Move initiative: “Get Up and Go!”

“It’s natural when you’re in there to want to make it better every year,” says Debra Dunn, who ran the White House visitors’ office in the Bush administration from 1989-93. “Do you think people would want to line up and do this if they were only going to roll an egg?”

Well, perhaps. Anita McBride, who was ’s chief of staff, says that because the White House can put on quite a show, it should. In 2007, it was her then-9-year-old son who suggested inviting the Jonas Brothers. “People have a certain expectation,” McBride says. “At the White House, we always should be showcasing the best America has to offer.”

This year’s event will be the longest yet — starting at 7:30 a.m. and ending at 6:20 p.m. in order to accommodate five groups of 6,000 guests for two hours apiece. Nothing that happens at the White House the rest of the year — not even state visits by foreign leaders — are as crowded.

“It was one of the most coveted things I got to invite people to,” says Sally McDonough, who was Laura Bush’s press secretary. “People walk out of there happy, happy, happy.”

Why all the fuss?

• Tradition. The event dates to Rutherford B. Hayes’ administration, when it was moved to the South Lawn from the grounds of the U.S. Capitol. Lawmakers there had banished it because of the mess it left and a tight landscaping budget.

• Public diplomacy. Over the years, its popularity has grown, creating a backlog of disappointed children who didn’t make the cut. This year, 205,739 tickets were requested through an online lottery.

• Keeping up with the Joneses. Each administration feels a need to put its imprimatur on the event. First lady Pat Nixon unveiled the first Easter Bunny. Rosalynn Carter brought in farm animals. Nancy Reagan added Hollywood-style clowns and characters.

Elisabeth Meinecke, deputy managing editor of Townhall.com, a conservative news and opinion website, says the Obamas may be at risk of overdoing it during tough economic times. “I’m not against kids being healthy and working out, but it’s very agenda-driven,” Meinecke says, pointing to the logo — a bunny working out. “I think they’re getting a little carried away.”

Although the White House would not cite the cost for the event, those involved in past productions say the costs were underwritten by corporate donors. In some years, they could get a photo with the president and first lady. Most celebrities performed for free. Taxpayers do pick up the tab for staffing, which includes the National Park Service and Secret Service.

It’s also one of the rare events that doesn’t have political overtones. Even the souvenir wooden eggs given to participants with the Obamas’ signatures come in politically neutral purple, green, yellow and pink — no red or blue.

“It’s a chance for kids in Washington to have the opportunity to actually walk in the White House gates and feel a sense of the history,” says Sheila Tate, first lady Nancy Reagan’s press secretary. She adds, “I don’t know what the White House gardeners think about it.”

Dude’s List: 11 Reasons He Can’t Keep It in His Pants or Out of another Woman’s

74f332ad9e16267bcc4caf93d1b27370 Dude’s List: 11 Reasons He Can’t Keep It in His Pants or Out of another Woman’s

( Blog/ CCD) – They say that 60% of all men cheat and 70% of the women who’re being cheated on pretend it’s not happening. Well, I’m not sure if I believe in statistics (or that ’s got testicles) but I have known me some men who’ve crossed the fidelity line. Why? What lead them astray? What could possibly compel them to? Should you forgive him?

Ladies, we’re going for a ride inside 11 (anybody can do 10!) cheatin’ causes. Let me make this clear: I’m here to offer you reasons for why he cheats, not excuses he gives you after you’ve caught him cheating.

1. f**k!
This is purely out of . You got caught and he took the opportunity to stick it to you by sticking into another woman. It ain’t mature and gets messy as Hell. Which is worse, the or the last?

2. You haven’t seen each other in 6 months
Absence could make the heart grow fonder but also the pee-pee wander. You can almost track your connection slipping away across the map on your ’s GPS. Soon, each day you feel yourself growing apart from one another and then an opportunity arises, an oasis in the desert of and isolation. So, he takes a drink. Don’t let anyone fool ya, the LDR ain’t for the weak willed.

3. He thinks he found something better
In my guestimation, this is about the scariest one on this list. The relationship can be going great. You’ve never even had a ! Then, WHAM! Sparks are flying. Unfortunately, they’re flying with another woman who came from out of nowhere. He makes a choice, he’s “gotta know.” This one’s the heartbreaker, kids.

4. The “what if” girl
You’ve probably met her! You’ve at least heard fifty thousand stories about their high school adventures or their elementary school daze. She was his first crush. Maybe she was his “one that got away.” The friend, perhaps? But she’s never been interested or they’ve never been single at the same time. Turned out, all it took was her being single and interested at any time.

5. Commitment phobia
Only one woman to have sex with? For, like, ever? Or, like, the foreseeable future? Or, like, the past week? We’ve all crossed paths with people who just aren’t built for monogamy.

6. Boredom
Believe it or not, according to a few studies, and some field work on my part, this is the most common answer men give for why they cheat. The word even sounds dull and empty when you say it. Try it. “Boredom.” He’s tired of steak for every meal. So, he goes out for a burger, just for a change of pace. Fast food f*cking as it were.

7. Sexaholic
There is a legit diagnosis for sex addiction. Nymphomaniacs walk among us. There are people who literally cannot function unless the first thing they do in the morning is go on Adult Friend Finder (or eduhookups) and make a date with a stranger for later that night. These people have to have sex. It’s a disease… (Tissue? Anyone?)

8. For the thrill
At first glance, you might think this falls under number 6 on the list. You’d be off by just a hair. Some guys cheat because they are turned on at the thought of getting caught. He has to basically make up two different lives with two different people (or however many as he’s sampling from). The fact you might catch him is the adrenaline rush he’s looking for. Cheating’s taboo. People get off on taboos. That’s why they’re taboos.

9. He’s feeling neglected and unfulfilled from your relationship
“Infidelity’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.” To which came the famous reply, “Yeah? Well now that symptom is f*cking my wife.” Rob Reiner did make great movies once…I digress. Sometimes the greatest distance between two people is the six inch chasm between his side and her side of the bed. Something’s wrong and neither of you are talking about it. A lot of times this is the result of the problem being bottled up until you both feel suffocated. So, he looks for an oxygen mask to fall from the ceiling, and her name is Jenny. And her breasts are bigger than yours.

10. He’s a narcissistic prick who doesn’t care
He’s a dick and that’s all he thinks with. He might not even remember your last name half the time. Yet you are surprised when he treats you exactly the way your mom, sister, best friend, co-worker, therapist, and priest predicted he would. I know what you’re thinking, “how could it happen? He’s a Leo and I’m a Scorpio! It was meant to be!” Unfortunately, you’re not the center of this guy’s universe. His penis is, and every woman is just another planet to orbit around it.

11. He was drunk
I’ve saved what I predict will be the most debated for last. Is this really a reason? Or is this just an excuse? After all, he made a choice. Alcohol only takes away inhibitions, not desires. I put this one out there solely for discussion. He might have been drunk enough to think he was having sex with you. He might have been so wasted he doesn’t remember what he did or why. Is this one a matter of severity? If he’s only tipsy then is it just an excuse but if he’s truly lost all sense of judgment and control then is it a reason?

Here’s the hardest pill to swallow, ladies. All men involved in a relationship, at one point or another, think about or imagine what it would be like to cheat. Some guys even get little crushes on other women. Some of them just let it go at the fantasy. Some of them cross the line, and then you’ve gotta “nail, his, ASS!”

That’s all.