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The Women Of OK Cupid Are More Superficial Than The Men

February 18, 2013 By Leave a Comment

c62268e8068bb1613980253ddff7c89a The Women Of OK Cupid Are More Superficial Than The Men

(PhatzNewsRoom / The Frisky) — According to Christian Rudder, the co-founder of online , women’s perception of “” is way more warped then that of the men. In an interview following his recent talk about OK Cupid’s dating algorithm,Rudder revealed some stats about the “Quick Match” section of the site. For those of you who haven’t been on OK Cupid, you can click on “Quick Match” and scroll through pictures, giving attractiveness ratings of 1 to 5. For those of you who have been on the site, you more likely refer to it as “that you play when you’re bored of .”

According to the TED , when Rudder showed a graph of the ratings men give to women, there was a normal distribution with fewer women falling in the 1 and 5 range and the majority rating somewhere in the middle. But when it came to women “Quick Matching” men, the graph skewed toward the unattractive side. Apparently, we rate lots of men a 1 and hardly any a 4 or 5. “A 3.8 for a guy is basically material,” Rudder joked.

Call that superficial or call it having high standards. Whatever you please. Before we demonize women for being so unforgiving, I tend to think that guys don’t know jack about how to pick an attractive picture of themselves, so we may just be being honest. On almost every OK Cupid date I’ve been on, the man has been at least slightly more attractive in person than on their profile. My last boyfriend, who I met on the site, was infinitely hotter than his suggested, lucky for me. I don’t know if the same is true for women, well, because I don’t date women. Any men care to comment on that?

Also, I should note that even though men tend to be more generous in their rating of women, Rudder confirmed that men of all levels of attractiveness tend to send the most messages to the women who rate across the board a 5. I’ll leave you with something hopeful (because we need something hopeful for ’s sake) — Rudder says that 500 people a day disable their profiles because they have found someone on the site they wish to pursue a with. No word on how many of those relationships last.

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What Men Want: Teeth More Important Than Hair, Clothes In Match.com Survey

February 11, 2013 By Leave a Comment

sexy bar girl 11 What Men Want: Teeth More Important Than Hair, Clothes In Match.com Survey

(PhatzNewsRoom / The Frisky) — Stressing over your is one of the many undesirable aspects of singledom. But what if you had to help you prioritize your beauty regimen? Thanks to .com, now you do.

The online dating site conducted a three-year study of over 5,000 and women and came up with a list of the top 10 things men judge women on. The least surprising news? Over half of the list was appearance-based. It makes sense — women have seemed to adjust their getting-ready times accordingly, devoting 136 full days of their lives primping and preening for a night out, according to another 2008 survey.

OK, now are you ready for the surprising news? Match.com found that the most important thing for men is a woman’s , which took the with 58 percent of votes. And all those years you thought your was just being naggy about the whole flossing thing…

Just after teeth, guys are concerned with a lady’s hair (51 percent) and clothes (45 percent).

Moral of the story: Forget pricey hair salons and uncomfortable and focus on smiling. Oh, and maybe the and soda while you’re at it.

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A Confusing Study About Having Sex Too Soon

December 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

1210 dont take clothes off A Confusing Study About Having Sex Too Soon

(PhatzNewsRoom / The Frsiky) — Brigham Young University has delivered a questionable study about the effects of having sex early on in a . The study asked 11,000 unmarried people in steady or serious relationships to rate their relationships in the areas of , communication and stability. Those couples who had sex within the first few weeks of dating rated lower than those who waited longer to get it on.

“The eventual between individual sexual expectations and actual rewards may undermine healthy couple formation processes,” theorized the researchers.

But wait! Before you impose a mandatory, three-week abstinence period, how soon you have sex might not make all that much of difference after all.

“The overall difference in satisfaction and communication scores between those who had early sex and those who waited was one-tenth of one point on a five-point scale. Does one-tenth of one point really mean having sex on the will kill your relationship? No,” said Justin Lehmiller, a at . Also, Lehmiller takes issue with the fact that the study didn’t follow the couples over time. So their ratings may have little to do with sex.

So, there you have it. Up for debate. Go back to doing whatever feels right to you, science be dammed. But you were probably doing that anyway.

RULE #1: Be clear about what your relationship is from the start.

My FB and I actually met through an online . We went out and hit it off, but he basically told me point blank that he “wasn’t really into dating.” I’m not entirely sure what he is into, but I suspect he thinks that when he meets “The One,” it’ll hit him over the head like a and he won’t have to do this whole courting process. Whatever. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, it’s not really my concern. I tend to be more and believe it takes at least a little while to know whether someone is a match for you or not. The point is, the two of us clearly were not going to be BF/GF. And that was okay! The movie is that FB/FWB eventually fall in love; I am pretty sure that in real life, that is so rare, it’s not even worth discussing. If you find yourself seriously entertaining the hope that will happen, save yourself from and end it.

RULE #2: Find each other interesting.

Some may disagree with me on this, but I think it’s kind of necessary to be able to, like, converse with your FB. After all, you’re not having sex the entire time you’re together and awkward silences are total bonerkillers. And, I don’t know, but I find sex — even casual sex — to be hotter if I find the person I’m sexing to be smart, funny and interesting. MY FB and I actually have a decent amount in common — we like the same movies and we’re both writers. I read his screenplay and gave him feedback. In exchange, he’s going to direct the rom-com I haven’t yet started writing. The last few times we’ve hung out, we’ve talked about more personal stuff too — prior relationships, family issues, etc. I’ve even needled him about what I think are his commitment issues. I’m intrigued by him. If I wasn’t, I would probably be bored by now. And I like him as a person. That’s kind of important for this to be a regular type of thing.

RULE #3: All that being said, don’t care that much.

You can’t. Really starting to care about the other person is what leads to a FB relationship becoming unbalanced and a lack of balance ruins it. Yesterday evening, when my FB texted me about hanging out, I was somewhat inclined to take a raincheck. I had some work I could do, a few shows on my DVR that I wanted to watch, and I desperately needed a wax. But then I was like, “Eh, I haven’t gotten laid in a while, the work can wait, I can watch TV some other night, and who gives a crap that I’m hairy?” The point is, if you really, really want to see the person and will reschedule everything even if it’s terribly inconvenient, you’re probably starting to develop feelings and that is a red flag. So keep an eye on that.

RULE #4: Don’t see each other too often.

One way I think you can kind of keep the caring at bay is by seeing each other regularly but not so regularly that you might as well be dating. My FB and I see each other in spurts. Sometimes we’ll see each other every couple weeks; sometimes, we’ll go a few months without contact. I was in a relationship for a few months last year, so when he booty called, I said as much and that was that. Then when I was single again, we picked things back up. The good thing about hooking up every couple weeks to a month is that you naturally have plenty to talk about when you do see each other. My FB just got back from a trip to North Africa — fascinating!

RULE #5: Know your relationship has a shelf-life.

And be okay with that. Right now, having a FB really works for me because I’m actually totally in love with someone else with whom the timing is very wrong. It’s complicated. I can’t get into it. Basically, I’m sorting shit out in my head and heart. But my sex drive revs on! My FB satiates my libido but is not an emotional distraction. Likewise, I know that at some point he may meet someone and want to end things. Hell, I may never hear from him again. That would be fine with me. I’d wish him well. It’s gotta end sometime!

RULE #6: Be really, really sexually attracted.

At the end of the day, I have a lot of fun f**king this dude. Sex is ultimately brings us together every single time. If you’re not having fun in bed there really isn’t any point to this kind of arrangement.

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Fall: a time for love

September 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

f68b12ae36a934742ec4fda3fd42934c Fall: a time for love

(Phatforums News / .com) — Kicking leaves, carving pumpkins, pencils, books and work: We’re back in the fall routine. And as we resume our autumn , most of us take stock. Perhaps there’s nothing we ponder more thoroughly than our bedroom habitat. Is someone there? If not, why not? If so, is this The One? Or should someone else reside in this inner sanctum?

We tend to think that spring and summer are the mating seasons — the key times that we engage in the . But as autumn gets under way, professionals, entrepreneurs, students, retirees… almost everyone returns to “the hood,” or to clubs, restaurants, , sports and cultural events and parties — rekindling and expanding their social webs.

“Cats seem to go on the that it never does any harm to ask for what you want,” wrote critic Joseph Wood Krutch. Like cats, in the autumn, even the meek become emboldened to ask for what they want: . Some will join Chemistry.com, the Internet dating site I helped design for those looking for a . Others will seek a at other Internet dating sites, or buy newspapers and magazines to peruse the . And as they gather, they will hope for .

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5 Things Guys Need To Stop Doing If They Want To Have Better Luck Online

July 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment

rb2hcbaa 5 Things Guys Need To Stop Doing If They Want To Have Better Luck Online

(Phatforums News / The Frisky) — Kicking and screaming, all the way, after more than four years offline, I finally joined an online . I was trying to avoid it, but I decided that, while I was was meeting guys in person, I wanted meet a wider variety of guys. I am happy to say, that so far, it’s not so bad. But I’ve noticed a few things that guys are consistently doing wrong in my humble opinion. After the jump, some things dudes need to stop doing if they want to improve their luck online.

1. Writing bad first messages. I suppose most guys have no idea what to say when they write a first message to a girl they don’t know. It’s awkward. It takes a lot of to send that message, so I commend your for doing it (over and over again). That being said: I’ve found emoticons, “hi,” or “you’re hot” to be waaaaay overused. I’m not exaggerating here. In two weeks, I’ve received more than 20 messages that say nothing more. Let me be frank with you: Women see these messages and delete them immediately. No questions asked. The other kind of first messages I’ve gotten a bunch of are the ones with a reference to or question about something I’ve written in my profile. These are better, but still a tad generic. The best kind of message to receive is one that indicates that you have something in common, shows your personality or and expresses interest in getting together. Examples: “You krump? So do I! We should go krumping. I know a place.” “I like your . Can I buy you a and attempt to make you laugh?” “What kind of writing do you do? I have a bunch of friends who are writers. I like to read, so this could work.” Good first messages come so few and far between that its likely you will get a date just for writing one.

2. Describing themselves as “always smiling” or “up for anything.” The Online should be: If you don’t have anything original to say, don’t say anything at all. It’s better to leave a section blank-ish than to fill it with cliches. Maybe you are always smiling. I’d kind of rather find out in person.

3. Posting crappy pictures of themselves. That photo in the mirror where the camera’s showing, or that pic where your ex is cropped out, or that blurry shot of you drinking beers with your is not going to get you noticed. As lame as you might feel doing it, have a friend take a clear (as in NOT blurry) picture of you so we can see what you really look like right NOW (not 10 years ago when you were on a skiing trip). If we can’t see what you look like, we are going to be hard pressed to agree to meet you for .

4. Looking at my profile over and over again. I know online dating is like , and you want to make sure you are purchasing something you actually want, but when it comes to online dating, it’s impossible to be sure. You kind of have to meet in person to find out. When I see that you’ve viewed my profile 16 times without writing me, I’m already wondering … Why? What’s holding you back? Or are you just weird? If you do perchance send a message after the 17th viewing of my profile, I will probably be wary.

5. Waiting too long to ask me out. I’m sure this is a matter of personal preference, but I don’t really want to talk about anything besides where and when we should meet before we’ve met. It’s nice if a guy is interested in what I think about the latest episode of “Breaking Bad” (haven’t seen it yet), but I’m not particularly invested in exchanging emails until I know if we have in person. If three email exchanges have passed and there’s no mention of a date, I will assume that you’re: A) Looking for a buddy, B) don’t actually want to date, just want an ego boost or a distraction or something or C) are hiding something. Don’t waste time if you want to go out with me. Skip the email banter and get straight to the part where you make a date with me. We can banter all you want then.

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Women Don’t Date Unemployed Men. But The Other Way Around Is OK?

July 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

04d8b75a0b8794b2d44fa78554a8be89 Women Dont Date Unemployed Men. But The Other Way Around Is OK?

(Phatforums News / ) —- Unemployed and male? According to science, getting a date could be just as hard as your .

As if losing your job doesn’t suck enough, a recent survey conducted by online dating site It’s Just Lunch found that 75 percent of women wouldn’t even go on a date with an unemployed man. Well, 42 percent of women would consider it. But 33 percent said there was no chance, while the other 25 percent said they would go on a date with a jobless guy.

“Not having a job will definitely make it harder for men to date someone they don’t already know,” says LaCota of It’s Just Lunch. “This is the rare area, compared to other topics we’ve done on, where women’s old-fashioned beliefs about sex roles seem to apply.”

I know this sounds a bit superficial — like we need a man to have a job so they can shower us with gifts and take us on dates. But I think whether he can hold down a job tells us more about a man than his . It is a sign that he’s responsible, ambitious and has goals in life. In today’s , it’s not unusual for people to be out of work or between jobs, but even a man working a non-ideal part-time job while looking for and applying for work in his field is sexier than one who is content with living off mommy and daddy’s hard-earned cash.

Men, on the other hand, are much more accepting of unemployed women. Nearly two-thirds of men said they would have no problem going on a date with a woman who doesn’t have a job, while only 8 percent said they would absolutely rule it out.

Ladies, I know where you’re coming from. Nothing is sexier than a man with a plan, but try to keep in mind that nowadays it’s not so simple to land the high-paying job of your . Give it time. And please, if you’re in a committed, loving , don’t kick him to the curb just because he’s out of work. Try encouraging him and helping him in his job search.

As the It’s Just Lunch blog notes: “ shouldn’t disqualify you from dating, but remember to focus on your own life too. The dating market isn’t as tough as the job market, but for both — having a plan is the difference between finding a successful and being left out in the cold.

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Why We’re Really Just Attracted To Ourselves

June 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

00834e145a2c863f77e681c21b7eccc9 Why Were Really Just Attracted To Ourselves

(Phatforums News / ) — If you’ve ever heard anyone say “they look so cute together” and written it off as some magical -like bullsh*t that only romantic-comedy-loving girls would say, a new called Find Your FaceMate might prove you wrong. That’s because they match people who they believe look good together.

Yes, , it doesn’t get any more superficial than this. While sites like eHarmony use a 100-point check system to match based on legitimate commonalities, Find Your FaceMate makes matches based on people with similar looks.

As wacky as this idea sounds, there’s actually research from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign to support that we are attracted to people who look like us. In 2010, R. Chris Fraley had subjects evaluate a ’s attractiveness in random . When the were digitally morphed to partially mesh the subject’s face with the ’s face, the subjects noted higher levels of attraction.

So this is what modern-day dating has come to: letting the computer software of a dating website evaluate your face and pair you with someone who looks like you.

Maybe somewhere along the way we’ve failed to socially condition to feel comfortable communicating. If this is what we’re resorting to in order to find love, it’s no wonder half of us are getting divorced.

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6 Rules To Follow For A Successful “Friends With Benefits” Relationship

April 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

b56cff7a4ced377ccf0306af5f2eada4 6 Rules To Follow For A Successful “Friends With Benefits” Relationship

(Phatforums News / The Frisky) — . F**k buddies. It’s a concept I’ve never really been able to get behind, something I thought never really worked. Someone always develops feelings for the other, right? Someone always ends up getting hurt. But! I think I was wrong. Having the perfect f**k buddy may be difficult, but it is not impossible — I should know!

See, off and on for the last year-plus, I’ve had a f**k buddy. And last night, when we were hanging out, I found myself thinking, This is pretty solid. This is easy. I don’t want anything more from this situation. So why has it worked? Well, I think we’ve stuck to six basic rules that have kept the clear and the situation mutually beneficial and fun. Check ‘em out, after the jump!

RULE #1: Be clear about what your relationship is from the start.

My and I actually met through an online . We went out and hit it off, but he basically told me point blank that he “wasn’t really into dating.” I’m not entirely sure what he is into, but I suspect he thinks that when he meets “The One,” it’ll hit him over the head like a and he won’t have to do this whole courting process. Whatever. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, it’s not really my concern. I tend to be more and believe it takes at least a little while to know whether someone is a match for you or not. The point is, the two of us clearly were not going to be BF/. And that was okay! The movie is that FB/FWB eventually fall in ; I am pretty sure that in real life, that is so rare, it’s not even worth discussing. If you find yourself seriously entertaining the hope that will happen, save yourself from heartbreak and end it.

RULE #2: Find each other interesting.

Some may disagree with me on this, but I think it’s kind of necessary to be able to, like, converse with your FB. After all, you’re not the entire time you’re together and awkward silences are total bonerkillers. And, I don’t know, but I find sex — even casual sex — to be hotter if I find the person I’m sexing to be smart, funny and interesting. MY FB and I actually have a decent amount in common — we like the same movies and we’re both writers. I read his screenplay and gave him feedback. In exchange, he’s going to direct the rom-com I haven’t yet started writing. The last few times we’ve hung out, we’ve talked about more personal stuff too — prior relationships, family issues, etc. I’ve even needled him about what I think are his commitment issues. I’m intrigued by him. If I wasn’t, I would probably be bored by now. And I like him as a person. That’s kind of important for this to be a regular type of thing.

RULE #3: All that being said, don’t care that much.

You can’t. Really starting to care about the other person is what leads to a FB relationship becoming unbalanced and a lack of balance ruins it. Yesterday evening, when my FB texted me about hanging out, I was somewhat inclined to take a raincheck. I had some work I could do, a few shows on my DVR that I wanted to watch, and I desperately needed a wax. But then I was like, “Eh, I haven’t gotten laid in a while, the work can wait, I can watch TV some other night, and who gives a crap that I’m hairy?” The point is, if you really, really want to see the person and will reschedule everything even if it’s terribly inconvenient, you’re probably starting to develop feelings and that is a red flag. So keep an eye on that.

RULE #4: Don’t see each other too often.

One way I think you can kind of keep the caring at bay is by seeing each other regularly but not so regularly that you might as well be dating. My FB and I see each other in spurts. Sometimes we’ll see each other every couple weeks; sometimes, we’ll go a few months without contact. I was in a relationship for a few months last year, so when he booty called, I said as much and that was that. Then when I was single again, we picked things back up. The good thing about hooking up every couple weeks to a month is that you naturally have plenty to talk about when you do see each other. My FB just got back from a trip to North Africa — fascinating!

RULE #5: Know your relationship has a shelf-life.

And be okay with that. Right now, having a FB really works for me because I’m actually totally in love with someone else with whom the timing is very wrong. It’s complicated. I can’t get into it. Basically, I’m sorting shit out in my head and heart. But my sex drive revs on! My FB satiates my libido but is not an emotional distraction. Likewise, I know that at some point he may meet someone and want to end things. Hell, I may never hear from him again. That would be fine with me. I’d wish him well. It’s gotta end sometime!

RULE #6: Be really, really sexually attracted.

At the end of the day, I have a lot of fun f**king this dude. Sex is ultimately brings us together every single time. If you’re not having fun in bed there really isn’t any point to this kind of arrangement.

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How I Found A Boyfriend By Online Dating

March 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

8a842f71114db8bb3ea46d14d35baded How I Found A Boyfriend By Online Dating

(Phatforums News / The Frisky) — I understand why online dating gets a : it takes away the fun of the “meet-cute” and forces you to judge, based on very little information, whether you want to take risks with someone else’s neuroses and perversions. There have been online dates I’ve been on over the past four years, such as with the 9/11 conspiracy theorist, that I’ve hated, too.

But it’s also true that I found my boyfriend on an online dating site, too. Granted, we’ve only been an item for , so we’re not exactly Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson here. However, it wasn’t particularly arduous or awful finding each other and we fit pretty well. And from my last to my current one, I actually dated exclusively two different guys for one month each that I met online, too. I’d like to think when it comes to this online dating thing, I’m doing something right!

Basically, I treated it like . If you’re looking for a pair of black in a size 10, don’t go home with a denim skort. It might be sold in the same department … but it’s not really the same thing. So, for what they’re worth, here are my (obviously very heteronormative) strategies for the rest of you frustrated online daters:1. I was really, really, really specific and honest about who I am and what I’m looking for. If I had to sell myself, I knew I had to do it honestly. I know what I want and I figured that I wouldn’t waste my time or anyone elses’ time if I was straight-up about my wants and needs. That type of might make it sound difficult for other people, but I genuinely think it was how I found my dude. Pretty much every guy who contacted me said he appreciated my directness! For instance, my profile said that I am feminist, but I am attracted to more traditional guys. I said I was only looking for a long-term relationship. And I was also straight-up about having a . This might sound like overly-intimate stuff for an online dating profile — and, yeah, a number of guys seemed to think “kinky” means “easy” — but that honesty separated the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. I laid all my cards out there and as a result, I didn’t waste two or three dates on duds. If saying I’m a feminist or saying I enjoy sex are dealbreakers, then I don’t want to date that person, anyway.

2. I decided what wasn’t important to me. I was lucky, in a sense, that I had firsthand experience with people having really dumb standards. Those of you who have followed the Ex-Mr. Jessica Saga know all about the letter he sent me after we broke up, in which he listed 10 reasons why he didn’t want to be together anymore. Some of the reasons were totally reasonable. But some of them were just plain stupid, like how he wanted to date someone who enjoyed playing board games. Board games! Yes, board games. Don’t even ask me to explain that one. So, anyway, when I started online dating, I had a those very specific things that I cared about — like dating a traditional guy — and then lots of other stuff that was “whatever.” As a result, I went on dates with guys from all races, income levels, political persuasions — and board players and non-board players alike! I’ve seen far too many profiles say “I could never date a Republican!” and I think that’s such a shame. I dated a Republican I met online for a month and though we ultimately weren’t right for each other for non-politics reasons, we had some really great conversations. It would have been a shame not to date him just because he voted for Bush (twice).

3. I posted a picture of myself not wearing any makeup. A guy once told me me — and this is true — that women tend to post the best-looking, hottest pictures of themselves on their profiles. So this guy assumed the photo where she looks least “done up” might be closest to what she looks like, say, on Saturday morning and it was the one he paid the most attention to. Armed with this information, I posted a picture of myself wearing no makeup on my profile. It’s still a cute photo: I have long brown hair, I’m smiling, and staring into the camera with my big brown eyes. Underneath it I wrote the caption, “This is what I look like without makeup.” And you know what? I still got responses.

4. I posted lots of other pictures of myself. I put a lot of thought into writing my profile and it showed. However, my general consensus of how the average dude uses an online dating site is he looks at pictures to see if he’s attracted to her and then scans the profile for red flags. As I stated before, online dating is sort of like shopping, so I made sure to sell myself as best I could. I have plenty of pics to show the full scope of how cute and awesome I am — the makeup-less pic as well as more glamorous photos.

5. I deleted without a response and/or blocked the egregious time-wasters. One of the quickest ways to get frustrated from online dating is engaging with people who don’t meet the standards of what you’re looking for. If a guy contacted me who seemed otherwise cute/smart/nice but said he wasn’t looking for a or wasn’t kinky, I would send him a polite note back that I was flattered he wrote me but I didn’t think we would work out. Guys who were just egregiously not what I was looking for just got ignored. For example, I am 27 and my profile specifically stated that I was looking for guys under age 35. I suppose it’s possible that some 39-year-old and I could have found everlasting love, but I wanted to date someone close to my own age. That didn’t stop more than a few men in their late 30s, 40s and even 50s from contacting me. Why, I don’t know. But I just deleted or blocked them without apology. And no, I’m not sorry.

Online dating is never going to be a day at Disney World, especially after you’ve been doing it awhile. I don’t relish the thought that perhaps one day in the future, I’ll have to look for love on the Interwebs again. I feel confident, though, that if my strategies worked this time around they may work again!

Contact the author of this post at Hidden Email Address. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.

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Adventures In Gold Digging

December 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

636cb901ad301c3c7bd503704704520a Adventures In Gold Digging

(Phatforums News / The Frisky) — For reasons unbeknownst to me, Business Insider has published a piece about a young woman in who did something unethical, tempting and all-too-easy: she used the online .com to score around $1,200 in free dinners paid for by dates.

The anonymous woman — who is only 23, by the way — earns a $45,000 salary but “barely had to pay for food.” She was paying almost $1,500 a month in rent (which, for context, is twice as much as I pay) and spending $500 a month eating out (which is just insane). But instead of moving into a cheaper or , she decided to date her way through tasty dinners.

“Minerva McGonagall,” as Business Insider calls her, would rotate guys five nights a week. She also never went on more than five dates with the same dude, because she didn’t want to lead any of them on. (Somehow, though, she ended up with a boyfriend at the end of this.) All these dates paid for her and meals — all of them, apparently, which means is alive and kickin’. The roughly $1,200 in free meals she enjoyed only cost her the $50 monthly Match.com subscription fee!

Now, that’s unethical on its own, but this story gets more unethical: “Minerva”‘s two got in on the gaming-a-guy-for-dinner act and the three of them soon started swapping dates. (Not that they told the guys that, of course.) They apparently swapped guys amongst themselves and never allowed a man to take them home, so dudes they had double-teamed wouldn’t realize they lived in the same place.

Unfortunately — or fortunately, perhaps? — Business Insider didn’t get into more detail about the individual dates, what lead “Minerva” to settle down with her boyfriend, or whether she moved into a cheaper apartment/got a raise/won the PowerBall. I would have liked to have known how this story ended.

But ultimately I’m annoyed at the lack of resolution because the story introduces us to a “gold digger” — which is already a crappy stereotype against women, an at-times unfair one since men make the decision to behave chivalrously — but doesn’t give us any other insight into her life or choices. Does she have deep-seeded issues from childhood about needing to live a certain kind of lifestyle? Is she just a crappy person? Why did she ultimately got bored/exhausted with this gambit? Did she ever “do the reach” for her purse on any of these dates, or just sit there motionless and wait for the guy to pay the bill ever time? Is her boyfriend one of these guys she scammed and does he know how she operated? And — the question on everyone’s mind — did she have sex with any of these men? Zero details makes it easy for commenters (and other bloggers) to rip this woman apart, calling her everything from a con artist to a prostitute.

I don’t think she is either, FWIW. I think she’s just a young, inexperienced woman who thought she was being clever and that this would “make a good story” someday. And it did. But along the way she became an icky person, too.

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