It’s amazing isn’t it? You turn on the television these days and all you see on every channel is some teenager getting knocked up by super sperm. It’s depressing because for many of us, getting pregnant is not so easy. We’ve heard from literally hundreds of couples who are stressed out because the quality of their sex lives has suffered due to the pressure to conceive. We thought a few out-of-the-box suggestions might ease your tension and hopefully help make conception a little bit easier and more fun.
Reduce Your Stress Level
Stress is a major factor in how our bodies work or don’t work as the case may be. Lowering your stress level is easier said than done, but here are a few new ideas. First, stop having sex just for the sake of trying to make a baby. That means take a few nights off and focus on building some anticipation for each other. Take a bath together, give each other massages, go on a romantic date and if seduction follows, great, but it’s not necessary. Make love for the sake of making love—after all, conception in the truest sense is about creating a child out of your love for one another. What better way for that to happen naturally than to have a magical evening instead of another less than romantic “got to do it now because she’s ovulating” screw.
Remember too that stress causes our bodies to produce the hormone cortisol. Not only does cortisol make us fat, it also attaches to our testosterone and carries it out of the body unused. What that means is that when you’re stressed, you don’t feel sexy or sexual. It is our belief that cortisol also makes the body inhospitable to conception. Why? Well, if you are not in the mood because your testosterone levels are low, chances are that blood is not flowing to your genitals and your vaginal juices are not flowing either. The vagina is a naturally acidic environment, which is not normally friendly for sperm. It’s only when the pH of the vagina is more agreeable when conception can occur. That leads us to our next tip.
It’s All About the Orgasm—Hers!
As most of you may already know from our previous articles, when women and men climax, we release a burst of the hormone oxytocin. For women, we also release a burst of estrogen, which is vitally important for conception. It is our contention that, in a post orgasmic state, a woman’s body is much more receptive to conception because the pH levels in her vagina should be a little more basic than usual, due to the abundance of vaginal secretions brought on by adequate arousal. The lubrication loosens the mucus in the vagina and allows his swimming sperm a better chance to find the egg! If she isn’t lubricated enough, intercourse can be painful, causing stress—and you already know what stress can do. We recommend at least 20 minutes of oral sex play to bring her to orgasm at least once before moving on to intercourse. (You can also try a fun water-based warming lubricant if she is still really dry and needs a little more help getting turned on.)
Decrease the Mucus Levels in Your Body
Okay, don’t laugh. This is going to sound like an old wives tale, but we have seen it work again and again. Try taking the cough medicine Robitussin DM every night to lower your mucus levels (Chris Rock will be so happy). This is especially important for any women who have used a progestin-based form of birth control in the past, including certain birth control pills, implants or the patch. One of the ways progestin prevents pregnancy is by thickening the cervical mucus, making it difficult for sperm to pass through the cervix. For some unknown reason, Robitussin DM seems to have some magical combination of ingredients that makes conception more possible.
If you are the type of person who has allergies, food sensitivities, yeast issues or recurring sinus or lung infections, this may be a very helpful and easy solution. Just so you know, a patient of Dr. Joni’s was told that she could never get pregnant because of her skeletal deformity and low sperm count from her partner. Her physician’s assistant recommended the Robitussin DM and now they have four kids!
Try Seeing A Chiropractor
Again, you may not believe this, but don’t knock it until you try it. Every chiropractor you meet will regale you with tales of numerous patients who came to them after being diagnosed as infertile, only to conceive under their care. The belief is that when you have a very tipped uterus, conception can be very difficult and chiropractic adjustments may release the tension in the lower back and allow the uterus to shift into a more amenable position allowing for conception to take place. Chiropractic caregivers believe that if your body is out of alignment, it won’t be a hospitable environment for any positive change, including healing, weight loss, relief from pain, etc. It’s also a great stress reliever when coupled with massage, so give it a try. (If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for over a couple of months, you’ve probably already tried everything else!)
Try Taking Up Yoga
Yoga has been practiced around the world for thousands of years. One of the core beliefs in yoga is that all of our emotions are stored in our hips. The largest joints in the body, the hips, have a tendency to lock as we age and carry growing levels of stress. That’s why the majority of yoga poses focus on opening up the hip joints and releasing all of that stored tension. Don’t be surprised if these exercises also make you feel sexy and put you in the mood. These poses will also make your entire body more flexible, making sex that much more fun! When you open those flood gates, watch out—things could get very interesting! (And real men do yoga too, so try going to a class together or getting a DVD you can use at home.)
Limit Your Alcohol Consumption—Especially for Him
Alcohol can not only impair our judgment, it can also impair his swimmers! Don’t worry, we’re not recommending you give up an occasional cocktail or glass of wine or beer, just try not to overindulge. If you’re too drunk to drive, you’re probably too drunk to make a baby.
Try a Romantic Getaway
We have all experienced the magic of a few lazy days in the sun with the smell of coconut in the afternoon breeze and a little umbrella in our drink. The lack of stress and change of scenery will do you both good, and allow you to make love without a schedule or the pressure to hurry up and get it over with. There’s even an entire industry built around this concept called babymoons (click here). Who knows, you might also rediscover the romance that brought you together in the first place. Vacation sex is the best and many couples find more time to make love in a less stress environment, so no family vacations this time!
Having trouble getting pregnant is a trying time for any couple. We believe that with love, patience and the release of expectations, anything can happen. Trust that the universe has you both in its tender care and watch the miracles unfold. And when the miracle happens, let us know!
Dr. Joni Frater & Esther Lastique are the founders of www.LoveHerRight.com and www.PassionateLifeClub.com and the authors of “Love Her Right: The Married Man’s Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex!” Visit their sites for more information on their Love Warrior Challenge, live appearances, and seminar classes.