This article is sponsored in part by DoubleYourDating.com (What’s this?)

Yes, it’s that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen.com readers.

This week’s Q&A focuses on a guy who thinks and talks like a Wuss and won’t admit it. He’s also obsessed with a girl who’s not into him. Before he’s told how to get that one special girl, he’s told what he should really do. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
reader’s comment
Hi David,

Dave, I can safely say you’ve changed my life. I was once a 27-year-old virgin, (I know, extreme), I had never been on a date and I had had one girlfriend when I was 17. And get this; I’ve been told by loads of women that I’m hot. The reason for this was my complete lack of confidence; I just had none. I would get eyed up in a bar, and want to go over, but I just didn’t know what to say. If I was approached by a lady, I either froze up or shook so much that everyone in the room thought their cell phone was vibrating.

I just got up one day, decided to go on the internet and learn.

Well, as you’ve probably guessed, your tips were the ticket.

I’m now 28 and have been using your techniques for about a year. I am so happy! I have girls coming out of my ears. I am now dating three women (very hot women) and I have four that won’t leave me alone.

OK, here’s the question:

The one girl that I want is the one playing hard to get. I’ve played it cool so far. I knew her from work, but I didn’t know her very well. She doesn’t work with me anymore, and I saw her in a club and “told” her to give me her number. When I ring her up, her phone is always off. So then I’ll send her a text message asking if she fancies going for a coffee during the week. She replies that she’s busy all week and she said that she has just gotten back with her ex and if I wanted to get to know her as a friend, it’s my decision.

I really like her, and she does not know this (because she doesn’t need to know). I am still a novice at the game so could you tell me exactly what you would do and exactly what you would say to get that one special girl?

Thanks
david d. responds

Welcome to the world of being an adult man! Exciting.

And I’m glad to hear that you’re finally doing well with the ladies.

Now, you want me to give you a “special” answer to your “special situation.”

Let’s see: You are surrounded by gorgeous women and they’re chasing you around like you’re some kind of rock star, but you don’t want those women of course. No, you want the one who isn’t interested in you; you want the one who just got back with her boyfriend.

David D. tells our reader just how to get that one special girl…

Before I give you a “special” answer, I’d like you to consider your own situation.

Let’s be honest, shall we? Right now you are out of control. You are not into this girl because she’s actually that “special.” You’re into her because she’s not into you. If you’ll admit this to yourself, and admit that you’re basically out of control in this situation, then we can make some progress.

So admit it. Say it out loud: “I’m out of control. I want this girl mostly because she doesn’t want me and it really fascinates the hell out of me. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Just read that out loud. Read it again, just so you hear the words this time.

Think about it for a minute.

You understand this stuff — and it still works on you. That’s profound.

And by the way, the more you try to “resist” the idea and tell yourself that she’s just a challenge and you only want her because she’s “special,” the worse it will get.

So, what should you do?

Hit the road. Say “next.” Move on. Walk.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to get the number of an unusually attractive woman, then throw it away.

Why? Because it’s a symbol. It’s you saying to yourself: “I don’t need any woman. I can go out and meet women anytime. I’m happy as I am.”

That kind of thing will help you — big time.

Now, if you really don’t want to take my advice and you want to make yourself crazy some more, here’s what to do:

1. Stop calling this girl for a couple of weeks.
2. Call her in two weeks and say: “Hey, I have a question that I really need to ask you. Call me.”
3. When she calls, say: “Yeah, I wanted to ask you why it’s taking you so long to call and ask me out.” Tell her about some beautiful and intelligent woman you’ve been dating, and then tell her that you’d like to get together with her and hang out as friends.
4. When you do see her, just be friends. Chill out, and give her space.
5. Take the time and energy to actually get to know her as a person. Find out if she is really the kind of girl that you’d like to be with. Make a list of all the things that would make a perfect woman. Then make a list of all the things that would be deal-breakers. Ask her all the questions when you meet her, and do it in a friendly kind of way.

I’d be willing to bet you a dollar that she is not at all the kind of girl you really want to be with. On the other hand, if she is your dream girl, lean back and take your time. Bust on her. Tease her. Make fun of her. Tell her that you can’t possibly understand how her boyfriend could stand her.

Chances are that she won’t be with this guy for long, and you will have now established that she’s your dream girl, and you’ll be ready to pounce.

Moral?

Just get on with your life, man.

You’re talking like a Wuss who’s trying to pretend that he’s not.

My Wuss-dar is going off like Fourth of July fireworks.

David DeAngelo

This article is sponsored in part by DoubleYourDating.com (What’s this?)

David DeAngelo is the author of the book Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, and several other products that can help men become more successful with women and dating. He also publishes a free online Dating Tips newsletter, available at www.DoubleYourDating.com.

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