(Phatforums News / Match.com) — It’s 8:30 p.m. and your date is seriously late for your dinner reservation. Upon finally arriving, he or she offers you a convoluted explanation of what happened, during which your date refuses to look you in the eyes and keeps rubbing his or her nose. Suspicious that your date’s not being completely honest? You should be, according to Greg Hartley, author of How to Spot a Liar: Why People Don’t Tell the Truth… and How You Can Catch Them. For hints on how you can discern the truth, consider the following signs as explained by Hartley, a decorated military interrogator who observes these signals to assess the honesty of enemy combatants. Remember, all’s fair in the game of war — and love.
5 signs your date’s hiding something…
1. This person raises his or her eyebrows
You suspect something’s up, and you’ve called your date out on it. The person then offers an explanation, ending things with a “you do believe me, don’t you?” look, eyebrows raised. Hartley says this key body language piece indicates that your date is not being fully honest. He asks,“You know that phrase, ‘lying eyes?’ A lot of times, it’s more in the lying eyebrows, especially with women, so pay attention to them when a woman is speaking to you.”
2. The pace of your date’s answers varies
Though your date may be offering flawless answers to your questions, what may actually give him or her away is the rate at which those answers get delivered. “Pay attention to inordinate time differences in your date’s answering style,” Hartley suggests. If he or she rushes to answer instead of the usual, halting speech or pauses when rushing through words is the normal pattern, that’s a hint that something is up.”
3. Your date compliments you at an inappropriate time
Hartley says that a man often compliments a woman when he’s trying to pull a fast one on her. “If, in the middle of his explanation of his whereabouts, he comments on your dress or asks if you just got a haircut, be suspicious,” he says. “Guys who do so are trying to distract you and divert your attention away from their half-truths or other deceptions. Don’t fall for it.”
4. Your date plays with her hair
When a woman is being deceptive, her behavior will actually be quite similar to when she’s trying to seduce you, explains Hartley. “When you think about it, the two actions are somewhat linked, even though they have different motivations behind them,” he says. Therefore, if you’re trying to assess your female date’s honesty, look for a sure sign of flirting: playing with her hair, a historic symbol of romantic interest and attraction.
5. Your date wrings his hands
“If a guy is wringing his hands when he’s speaking to you, he may be lying,” Hartley notes. Why is this an indicator of dishonesty? Hand-wringing not only signals stress, which is an indicator of deception, but putting his hands in between his body and yours creates a barrier. A guy creating this kind of barrier is usually hiding something, explains Hartley.
…and 3 signs that your date is being completely truthful
1. Your date is calm, cool and collected
First, let’s assume your date hasn’t been exercising or rushing to meet you, nor is he or she one of those people who just naturally perspire a lot. OK, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, if your date breaks into a sweat while speaking to you, it could be a sign of stress — the stress of lying. “While dates — especially first dates — are generally stressful situations, if you’ve been together awhile, there should be no reason your date should feel that much stress or be sweating,” says Hartley, “unless, of course, there’s something that is giving him or her reason to feel that way.” Like the fact that this person just told you a whopper…
2. Your date sticks to just the facts, nothing more
Perhaps one of the most common indicators of a lie is a too-detailed explanation. “This is one of the easiest ones to spot, but strangely, one deception that women often fall for,” Hartley notes. Don’t be fooled by incredible attention to detail or an ability to recount every step: “A guy who offers you a detailed explanation is almost always lying; in general, guys just don’t recall details — that’s more women’s territory,” Hartley says. “If his story or alibi about where he was or why he was late is ‘too good,’ there’s probably a reason why: He crafted it himself.” If he gives you a simple, short, reasonable explanation, chances are he’s telling you the truth and sees no need to embellish it, according to Hartley.
3. She keeps her head up straight
If your date is fibbing, she may look you in the eye, but she’ll almost always cock or tilt her head to one side, Hartley says. “This flirty behavior is both a sign of seduction and lying,” he notes. “With this kind of body language, she’s probably trying to reel you in flirtatiously so as to distract you from her lies.” A woman who’s telling the truth, however, will look at you head-on, Hartley says, with her neck and head held as straight as an arrow.
Now that you know these clues, look for them on your next date to make sure you’re hanging out with the kind of honest person who is worthy of you and your time.
Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor at www.thefamilygroove.com. Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.rumymother.blogspot.com.