June 19, 2013

Heavy security for India Ayodhya site ruling

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The BBC’s Sanjoy Majumder on the security situation in Ayodhya

Nearly 200,000 security personnel are being deployed in northern India ahead of a court ruling on the long-running Ayodhya religious dispute.

Helicopters are keeping watch overhead and authorities have urged calm amid fears the ruling could spark unrest.

The Allahabad High Court will decide who owns land where Hindu mobs tore down a 16th Century mosque in 1992.

Hindus claim the site of the Babri Masjid is the birthplace of their God, Rama, and want to build a temple there.

Related stories

* Has India’s flashpoint moved on?
* Q&A: The Ayodhya dispute
* Plea for calm over mosque verdict

The destruction of the mosque led to widespread rioting between Hindus and Muslims in which some 2,000 people died.

It was some of the worst religious violence since the partition of India in 1947.
Peace

The high court ruling in the Ayodhya case is due to be announced in the city of Lucknow, in Uttar Pradesh state, on Thursday at 1530 local time (1000 GMT).

Of the three judges who will give the verdict, two are Hindu and one is Muslim.

The BBC’s Soutik Biswas in Delhi says whichever way the ruling goes, it will be a test for India’s secular identity.

Minister Palaniappan Chidambaram said on Wednesday that there would be 190,000 security personnel on duty in the state for the ruling.

Group text messages have been blocked in an attempt to prevent anyone from inciting violence, and a media watchdog has appealed to broadcasters to avoid showing inflammatory images.

“The central has taken adequate measures and has deployed adequate forces to assist state governments in maintaining peace,” Mr Chidambaram told a press conference in Delhi.

“I once again appeal to the people to maintain peace.”

INDIA’S LONG-RUNNING DISPUTE
The Babri mosque

* Ayodhya dispute centres around land 130ft (40m) x 90ft (27m) where the mosque stood
* Court cases over the issue date back to 1949 – so far 18 judges have heard the case
* A 1992 report blamed top Hindu nationalist politicians for a role in the demolition
* A key issue is whether the temple was demolished on the orders of Mughal emperor Babar in 1528
* Other questions are whether the mosque was built according to Islamic and whether idols were put inside it by Hindus in 1949

* Timeline: Ayodhya holy site crisis

829db911b32dadc7039a0e2f7fcff51a Heavy security for India Ayodhya site ruling

Mr Chidambaram said all state governments had been “advised to be firm and maintain public peace and order and I’m sure they will do it”.

Correspondents say the authorities are anxious as the legal decision could have potentially explosive consequences.

An appeal for peace, signed by Manmohan Singh, has appeared in several Indian newspapers urging people to respect the rule of law and abide by the court order.

Correspondents say the Ayodhya ruling could not have come at a worse time for the authorities – they already have their hands full dealing with security preparations for the Delhi Commonwealth Games which begin on Sunday.

Moreover, many troops are engaged in fighting Maoist rebels across vast tracts of India and the worsening situation in Indian-administered Kashmir has added to security problems.

The court ruling was due last Friday but the deferred the decision, saying it wanted to give Hindus and Muslims more time to resolve the dispute amicably. On Tuesday it said the high court could proceed.

Correspondents say Thursday’s ruling is unlikely to be final and it is expected that the judgement will be appealed.

In neighbouring Bangladesh, which also saw sectarian riots in 1992, police have deployed additional forces around temples and in Hindu areas of Dhaka.

Nato raid ‘kills Pakistan troops’

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Three Pakistani soldiers were killed in a helicopter attack near the Afghan border, Pakistani officials say.

officials said Nato helicopters entered Pakistani airspace and targeted a paramilitary checkpoint.

Pakistani officials have now stopped Nato supply trucks from crossing the border at Torkham.

A Nato official confirmed there was an attack, but said that it believed it was in Afghan airspace. She added that the incident was under investigation.

Pakistani officials say they stopped the Nato trucks because of “security considerations”.

New pattern

The BBC’s M Ilyas Khan in Islamabad says that this is is the second attack by Nato-led (Isaf) helicopters on suspected fleeing militants in the country’s Kurram area since last weekend.

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Map of northern Pakistan

On 28 September a similar strike took place in Kurram, witnesses say.

A day earlier, Isaf helicopters reportedly chased militants into the neighbouring region of , killing more than 30 of them.

Our correspondent says that the latest strikes have set a new pattern in the US-led “war on terror” in Pakistani tribal areas.

Until now, unmanned drone aircraft have been carrying out strikes against and targets in the area.

But it seems that coalition forces have now decided to start using the “hot-pursuit” option as well.

The strikes come after months of pressure from the western coalition urging Pakistan to launch a clean-up operation against militant groups in its North Waziristan tribal area.

Pakistan has argued that this would be difficult because troops are already spread too thinly to open a new front against the militants, especially when many soldiers have been helping out with recent relief operations.

Last week Pakistan protested after Nato forces crossed the border and killed about 50 alleged militants.

A Pakistani official told AFP news agency that Thursday’s attack was “unprovoked”.

“Nato helicopters entered our airspace and targeted a paramilitary checkpost killing three soldiers and wounding three others,” the official said.

‘Response options’

Officials say the checkpost came under for about half an hour and three soldiers were wounded in addition to those killed.

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Pakistani soldier handing out flood supplies Pakistan says that its forces have been over-stretched because of recent floods

Another official told the Reuters news agency that Pakistan would consider “response options” if Nato continued to violate its sovereignty.

In a statement, Nato said it had carried out an attack on suspected insurgents near a coalition base in the border area of Dand Patan district, in Afghanistan’s Paktiya province.

However, it said that the helicopter did not cross into Pakistani airspace, and that it was working with Pakistan “to ascertain if the two are linked”.

Isaf spokeswoman Maj Sunset Belinsky said the helicopters did not cross into Pakistan from Paktia province, despite officials informing them that their border forces had been attacked.

“Isaf is working with Pakistan to ascertain if the two events are linked. The matter remains under investigation,” she said.

Michigan attorney general defends employee’s right to blog

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Cox: Shirvell offensive, but job is safe
STORY HIGHLIGHTS

* Cox calls Shirvell a ‘bully,’ but defends his right to free speech
* Blog criticizes openly gay student assembly president
* Assistant attorney general says he posts on his blog during off-work hours

(CNN) — Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox defended an assistant’s constitutional right to wage an against an openly gay college student, even though he considers that employee a “bully.”

“Here in America, we have this thing called the First Amendment, which allows people to express what they think and engage in political and social speech,” Cox told Anderson Cooper on CNN’s “AC 360″ on Wednesday night. “He’s clearly a bully … but is that protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution? Yes.”

“Mr. [Andrew] Shirvell is sort of a frontline grunt assistant prosecutor in my office,” Cox said. “He does satisfactory work and off-hours, he’s free to engage under both our civil service rules, Michigan Supreme Court rulings and the rule.”

For nearly six months, Shirvell, an assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan, has blogged about college student Chris Armstrong, an openly gay student assembly president at in Ann Arbor.

RELATED TOPICS

* Mike Cox
* Michigan
* LGBT Issues
* First Amendment Rights

Shirvell launched his blog in late April using the online moniker “Concerned Michigan Alumnus.”

“Welcome to ‘Chris Armstrong Watch,’” Shirvell wrote in his inaugural blog post. “This is a site for concerned alumni, students and others who oppose the recent election of Chris Armstrong — a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR — as the new head of student .”

Among other things, Shirvell has published blog posts that accuse Armstrong of going back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda;” hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students “to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.’”

In a written statement from his office on Tuesday, Cox distanced his office from Shirvell’s comments.

“Mr. Shirvell’s personal opinions are his and his alone, and do not reflect the views of the Michigan Department of Attorney General,” Cox said in the written statement provided by his office Tuesday night. “But his immaturity and lack of judgment outside the office are clear.”

Shirvell said he works on the blog during his off-hours.

On “AC 360″ on Tuesday, Shirvell made no apologies for his blog postings, which include a picture of Armstrong with “Resign” written over his face. The same picture also had a swastika superimposed over a gay pride flag, with an arrow pointing toward Armstrong.

Shirvell acknowledged protesting outside of Armstrong’s house and calling him “Satan’s representative on the student assembly.”

“I’m a Christian citizen exercising my ,” Shirvell told Cooper. “I have no problem with the fact that Chris is a homosexual. I have a problem with the fact that he’s advancing a radical homosexual agenda.”

Armstrong has supported gender-neutral housing at the university for transgender students who haven’t had sexual reassignment surgery.

Armstrong told CNN he has hired an attorney and is pursuing legal action against Shirvell.

CNN senior legal analyst says Armstrong may have grounds for a harassment case.

Health And Marriage: Benefits For Men

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If you find the prospect of “tying the knot” stressful, you may want to consider very real evidence that married or partnered men are healthier and live longer than their single counterparts. Contrary to conventional wisdom, men in committed experience less stress, reducing the chances of chronic disease and sudden illness. Health and and the benefits for men are undoubtedly closely related.

The health benefits of marriage seem to come from lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, but it’s a combination of factors that makes walking down the aisle toward a committed relationship healthier than going it alone. Certainly, there are advantages to maintaining a perpetual string of one-night stands, but the concept of health and marriage may trump the idea for some men.
The complex link between health and marriage
A 1996 Rand Study, titled Marital Status and Mortality: The Role of Health, states men in their 50s, 60s and 70s have lower mortality rates compared to never-married, divorced or widowed men, but the reasons are complex.

One suggestion is that marriage encourages healthy behaviors that include not smoking, avoidance of excessive alcohol intake, better nutrition, and care in times of illness. Men who are married are less likely to engage in risky behaviors like substance abuse or drinking and driving. Parenting within a marriage further promotes healthy behavior.
Stress hormones lower for married men
Researchers from the University of Chicago found that marriages and romantic commitments lower stress hormones.

Dario Maestripieri, Professor in Comparative Development at the University of Chicago, and lead author of Between- and Within-sex Variations in Hormonal Responses to Psychological Stress in a Large Sample of College Students, says that “although marriage can be pretty stressful, it should make it easier for people to handle other stressors in their lives. What we found is that marriage has a dampening effect on cortisol responses to psychological stress, and that is very new.”

The study was conducted on 500 masters degree students who were given a series of stressful computer games. Among the group, 40% of the men and 53% of the were married or in a relationship. The researchers collected saliva samples to measure cortisol and testosterone levels, before and after the games.

The surprising finding at the start of the study was that single men and women had higher levels of the stress hormone than married participants. Men in a committed relationship had lower testosterone levels — findings that the scientists say happens in primates and birds when males engage in fatherly behavior. Single students in the study had higher testosterone levels that “can potentially influence many aspects of an individual’s response to environmental challenges including tendency to take risks, psychomotor function and coordination, and cognitive performance.”

Our look at health and marriage and the benefits for men continues…

Why stress matters
Stress does matter when it comes to health and longevity. The finding that married men have lower cortisol levels than single males is important when it comes to disease prevention. A 2010 study shows that cortisol accelerates the formation of arterial plaque that leads to atherosclerosis and .

Stress is linked to a wide array of health problems because it promotes inflammation that can trigger autoimmune disease, negatively impact cardiovascular health and promote cancer development. Researchers know that chronic inflammation damages DNA, promoting disease at a cellular level.

Findings published in the September 2010 issue of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism found a five-fold increase in the chances of dying from heart disease when cortisol levels are chronically elevated.

The study, conducted on individuals over age 65, “adds evidence to the belief that cortisol can be damaging to the cardiovascular system” according to study author Nicole Vogelzangs, PhD, of VU University Medical Center in The Netherlands.

Cortisol is an important regulator of homeostasis in the body. The hormone is secreted by the adrenal glands and controls blood pressure, contributes to weight management, influences insulin release, and facilitates metabolism of carbohydrates. Too much cortisol in the bloodstream promotes distribution of fat in the abdomen that increases with risk of metabolic syndrome, stroke and heart disease.

Stress also lowers immunity, making more susceptible to chronic fatigue syndrome, infection and cancer. A strong social support system that comes from being happily partnered provides a boost to the immune system.
More health perks for married and partnered men
Lower cortisol levels make men more attractive to women. The findings come from Dr. Fhionna Moore, a lecturer at Abertay University. “We analyzed different levels and combinations of cortisol and testosterone and found a strong link between low cortisol levels, which is present when someone has low stress levels, and being highly attractive to women.” Marriage could improve feelings of self-worth and body image, reducing anxiety and depression.

Happily married men have lower blood pressure readings. is a major contributor to heart disease and stroke. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a Brigham Young University professor, found that a happy marriage can keep blood pressure lower. She suggests the combination of sharing good news and emotional support that comes from a committed relationship boosts body functioning.
Marriage and better health linked since 1858
As early as 1858, William Farr, a British epidemiologist, identified the risk of dying among unmarried men. Farr studied records of medical statistics to find the link.

Current studies support the role of marriage as a contributor to better health — but it’s also important to note that the relationship dynamic is what matters the most.

Fun and friendship that comes from a happy relationship can undoubtedly promote a longer and healthier life. Men with lower stress hormones are healthier, live longer and they look better too, perhaps explaining the mysterious attraction of some women to married men.

Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life

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Ever wonder why you fall dead asleep or get a rush of self-confidence right after you have an orgasm? It’s because of endorphins, oxytocin and other substances that are released into your bloodstream upon “liftoff.”

There are a host of sexual chemicals that affect your mind and body during and after . Check ‘em out.

Prolactin
What it does: Prolactin relieves after orgasm and takes your mind off sex. It rises sharply immediately after orgasm in almost everyone. It’s one of the few moments of the day when we men aren’t preoccupied with sex.

How it makes you feel: Prolactin disengages you from sex after an orgasm, allowing you to think of other things besides the naked right in front of you. If after sex your mind is flooded with activities and chores you need to accomplish that day, that is prolactin at work. Just imagine how much more progress we could all make in our lives if they pumped this stuff into the water supply.

Oxytocin
What it does: Secreted by the pituitary gland, oxytocin stimulates the prostate, causes muscle contractions and sensitizes nerves. Research has shown that increased oxytocin produces more intense orgasms.

How it makes you feel: Oxytocin is known as the “cuddling hormone” because it causes you to feel a connection and bond with your lover. It’s also found in women’s breast milk, helping to create a bond between baby and mother.

If you enjoy cuddling with your girl after sex, chances are you know the effects of oxytocin well.

Endorphins
What they do: Endorphins are a group of neurotransmitters formed within the body that bind to opiate receptor sites in your to naturally relieve pain. The bio-chemicals acetylcholine and are known as endorphins, and have a similar chemical structure to morphine. They are also known to lower stress and boost confidence.

How they make you feel: Endorphins produce feelings of euphoria and , and they have a calming effect. They fill you with a sense of well-being and relaxation. They may also make you feel dizzy and drowsy, and you might even drift off to sleep. Doctors have suggested that over-stimulation of the opiate receptors, as with heroin use, causes a depressed sex drive.

So next time your woman hassles you over passing out post-sex, you know it’s the endorphins at work. In fact, you can even argue that the faster you fall asleep, the better the sex was.

Of note, endorphins are released by your brain during sex, sporting activities, skydiving, fights, grievous injuries, and almost any other exhilarating activity you partake in.

Get your adrenaline, among other things, pumping..

Adrenaline (also known as epinephrine)
What it does: Adrenaline activates the sympathetic nervous system, which increases your heart rate and dilates arteries to increase blood flow to your muscles during sex. It also causes a refractory period in which another orgasm is impossible for up to 20 minutes after sex. During intercourse, increased amounts of adrenaline are released from the adrenal glands. This chemical amplifies the circulatory system with each heart contraction.

How it makes you feel: Adrenaline makes you feel exhilarated and makes your heart feel like it’s pounding out of your chest.

Phenylethylamine
What it does: Phenylethylamine triggers the release of dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain. This chemical is released during sex and peaks at orgasm. Curiously, it is also one of the chemicals found in chocolate.

How it makes you feel: You are overwhelmed with feelings of bliss, attraction and excitement.


What it does: Testosterone fuels sexual drive and aggression. It is essential to your libido and sexual arousal. Men (and women) with a testosterone deficiency often have trouble getting aroused and have a lower interest in sex.

How it makes you feel: In short, you feel turned on and sexually virile. And if you’ve noticed a rush of confidence after sex, that could be increased testosterone at work.

Serotonin
What it does: Serotonin regulates your moods. Having an orgasm releases an extra shot of serotonin to your brain, which acts as an anti-depressant.

How it makes you feel: You feel cheerful, hopeful, emotionally balanced, and content. Most clinical anti-depression medications pump up serotonin levels in your brain.
it’s the natural high
Some people go to great lengths to get drugs, but why bother when these active chemicals are just waiting to be released in your body? Having an orgasm is like getting high. By releasing a myriad of substances into your bloodstream, you are altering your brain and body functions.

Orgasms involve a complex interaction between three systems of the body: the vascular system, the nervous system, and the endocrine system. They are so complicated that it’s a miracle that they happen at all. So enjoy them and remember to have as many as possible.

Is Mark Zuckerberg A Genius?

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We all know about . We probably all know someone who is on it constantly, or have at least dabbled with it ourselves. The fact it now has over 500 million members is a testament to its popularity. Publications as varied as GQ magazine and newspapers in Rwanda have started to call a genius, and certainly Facebook has had a huge impact in changing the way human beings interact, to a degree not seen since the invention of the telephone.

But is it right to call him a genius? “Genius” is a word that is thrown around in a cavalier these days. Often what it is describing is something that is quite good, rather than the more traditional meaning of describing someone who is actually quite extraordinary.

With this in mind, we have decided to delve a little deeper into what being a true genius really is, what it should mean to be a genius, and whether or not Mark Zuckerberg has earned that right. Or if, in fact, he is ”only” very, very good at something.
Difficult to define
A working definition for what makes someone a genius is elusive. Great minds struggled with this for centuries, and there appears to be little overall consensus. Among others, Immanuel Kant, one of the great philosophers and keenest minds of the 18th century (or perhaps any century), contended that originality was the cornerstone of genius. Geniuses had the ability to think in a way that could transform the world or create something that no one had ever conceived of before.

But Kant is just one example, and there are countless others who would each define the term slightly differently. Whatever definition you think is accurate, there are a number of traits that seem to appear regularly in people’s attempts at reaching a definition. These traits are originality, vision, hard work, and creative output. We will examine each of these in turn, why they are so important to the definition of a genius, and whether or not these criteria can be fairly applied to Zuckerberg.
The importance of originality
One of the most fundamental aspects of genius appears to be the ability to create something extraordinary. From innovative technological inventions to great works of art, the creation is always something that is unique from anything that has gone before it.

Examples throughout history are plentiful — be it the art of renaissance man Leonardo Da Vinci or the scientific advances of Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein. All these saw the world differently from their peers, producing something original and influential as a result.

Can this be said of Zuckerberg and Facebook? Certainly, it has original elements, but it is really not much more than a variation on the theme, and certainly was not the first. On that basis, Zuckerberg cannot be said to have created something original. It should also be noted that from the very beginning, more than one was used to create Facebook, and with 1,400 employees there now, it becomes difficult to discern where the creative influence of Mark Zuckerberg begins and ends. Given that Facebook is not truly original (although it does possess some original elements) it cannot be used to demonstrate his genius.

Does Zuckerberg possess other traits of a genius? Read on to find out…

Hard work, bravery and persistence
In this area, Zuckerberg performs very strongly. While a genius makes things appear effortless, in reality they work extremely hard and are always looking for improvement. Michelangelo worked for four years to perfect the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, an enormous amount of effort. A genius is also not afraid to take a risk if it could lead to great success.

No one could realistically accuse Mark Zuckerberg of being lazy. There is simply no way that Facebook could have become so successful if its CEO was content to sit back and do nothing. There is a clear burning desire for success within him, which has enabled him to maximize the potential of his idea. Yes, he has had help, and certainly good luck has played its part, but there are probably millions of geniuses who have only been denied fame and fortune by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Mark Zuckerberg is a man who has made the most of his opportunities, took a few risks along the way, and has been rewarded for the bravery and work ethic that he demonstrated.

To make what was a dorm room project into one of the most popular websites in the world is no mean feat, and the hard work and persistence he has demonstrated are extremely impressive.
Vision
As Schopenhauer elegantly expressed: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.”

Creative vision is another important criterion upon which to make an assessment. A genius thinks so far outside the box that the box might not even exist, much like with Schrödinger’s cat. They dream things that have never been dreamed of, create things that we mere mortals could hardly imagine. Look at Da Vinci, a man who was designing tanks and helicopters centuries before science could make them a reality. Can Mark Zuckerberg really be mentioned in the same breath? Does Facebook deserve to be acknowledged for its creative vision?

Facebook is certainly creative, but, as mentioned before, it has benefited from following the examples of earlier social networking websites and was able to avoid their mistakes. Whether there is a genuine vision behind Facebook, other than making it a financial success, is unclear. In one article, Zuckerberg was described as a prophet who could see a world when everybody shared everything.

Whether this was truly his vision, or simply a way of defending Facebook from its biggest criticism, is a matter of opinion. But as far as vision is concerned, he appears to be aiming at a target that several other people have also had a shot at; he simply hit the target more successfully.

Find out if Mark Zuckerberg is truly a creative genius…

Creative output – quantity and quality
Our final section concerns creative output, and whether one piece of work is sufficient to earn someone the title of genius. We say it is not. The great classical composers like Mozart, Bach and Beethoven were men who revolutionized musical composition, and consistently produced work of the highest quality. More often than not, they produced something great. Writers such as Shakespeare and Tolstoy and scientists like Einstein and Richard Feynman more than once devised something truly remarkable.

In this category, Zuckerberg has yet to fully convince. Facebook is an extraordinary achievement, but it is not something truly original. In order for him to earn our praise here, we would need to see other projects that match the accomplishments of Facebook in terms of impact or creative vision. Until this happens, we cannot use this to prove his genius. At the moment he is a man who developed something that caught on. Whether it was a flash of inspiration, or just good luck does not matter. But we need him to do more to prove that it was genius, rather than being in the right place at the right time.
is mark zuckerberg a genius?
Looking at each of the above criteria in turn, it seems clear that at this point Mark Zuckerberg cannot be called a genius. He is undeniably successful, works hard and takes risks, but that is no different than many other successful entrepreneurs. At this stage, he has not produced enough work of consistent brilliance to justify being likened to the great men and of history. It is, of course, very difficult to judge greatness in its own time — Van Gogh famously only sold one painting in his lifetime. It is possible that a century from now, Facebook will continue to change the world, and revisiting this question could deliver a different answer. But at present, his work is not original enough, different enough and there is not enough for him to be recognized as a genius.

Mind you, as a 20-year-old billionaire with the world at his feet and whose name will go down in history regardless, do you think he would really care?

Adult Adolescence: You’re 35 And Recently Divorced

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Just when you thought was gone for good and that you were now and forever an adult who gets to enjoy all the benefits of adulthood, something tough and hard to handle might happen that throws you right back into .

Adult adolescence refers to the constant process of maturing that can happen at any time in your life — whether you’re an 18-year-old entering the world on your own for the first time, a 25-year-old starting to map out the rest of your life, or a divorced 40-year-old who finds himself living the single life again. For over 11 years, I’ve been giving sex and relationship to all over the country to help them lead more successful lives. I’ve experienced the same stages of adult adolescence that you have. Whether it’s looking forward, backward or at what’s happening in your life right now, I can offer some guidance by examining the difficult times of transition in our lives.

Single… again
You’re 35 and recently divorced. Welcome to one of the most challenging times of adult adolescence.

I was about that age when I got divorced myself. Right after my , I remember my buddy Rich and I went out to a bar. I was standing in the bar drinking a margarita, and all of a sudden I realized I was “him.” I was that older guy in a bar full of 20-somethings, nursing a drink and looking at . At that moment, I realized that those days of picking up 20-year-old in bars were over for me.

Do you want to be ”that guy”? I know I didn’t want to be that guy again, standing there in the bar. There wasn’t any joy or excitement in it for me anymore. I wanted to meet real women. I didn’t want to get involved in idle chitchat about nothing, meet somebody when they’re drunk, call them the next day and have to remind them of the conversation we’d had. I was past that point in my life. I wanted to meet someone I could connect with in a meaningful way.

Time to yourself
So let’s talk about what to do after you get divorced. The first thing you need to do is make sure you clear your mind. Don’t go out and start trying to meet women just because your has left you (or because you left your ). Spend some time with yourself. Get to know yourself again. Start to think about what you really want. What are you looking for in life? With what type of do you want to spend your time? What did you learn from your last relationship?

Adult Adolescence: You’re 35 & recently divorced — tips for meeting women when you’re ready..

Spend time by yourself. Take some time to hang out with friends and get to know them again. Spend some time doing “guy things.” Enjoy yourself and don’t even think about women.

Once you’ve done this, then the next step is to actually go out there and start meeting women doing things that you enjoy. You don’t want to be that guy standing in the corner of a bar or nightclub, wondering if you’re going to randomly meet the right person. Instead, think about what you like to do with your time. Make a list of five things that you really enjoy doing — five things that are really important to you and five places you’d really like to be seen.

Find your niche
I remember doing this exact exercise when I was 35 years old. I found that I really enjoyed meeting women when I was “out and about.”

I enjoyed meeting women in supermarkets because I always had something to talk about with them (since food is a passion of mine). I enjoyed meeting women at coffee shops because I enjoy drinking a cup of tea. I really enjoyed meeting women when I was working out. I enjoyed meeting women when I was at the movies, if I was able to talk to them before the movie or after the movie.

I wanted to meet women who shared the same interests as me. I wanted to meet a woman who was really like me — someone who likes to travel, eat great food and stay healthy. You want to start figuring out who you are and what you’re all about. That way, when you are out meeting people you won’t make the same mistakes.

In all my years of coaching men in dating and , I’ve found that men who jump back into the dating world too soon after a breakup or a divorce tend to find the same woman over and over again (and tend to marry the same woman again). They do it because that same woman is what they are used to.

Be a student of your own experience

So learn from your experience and from your last relationship. Embrace all the lessons from that relationship, so that you can go out and find what you really want. You deserve this, and so does the woman who is going to be with you. Whether your last relationship ended because she left you or you left her, you owe it to yourself to get back out there and find what you want.

3 Arrested in Vietnam for Running Porn Sites

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HANOI, — State police have arrested three people for running pornographic websites, which attracted millions of page views a day, reports said.

The three people who operated the sites were arrested in southern Ho Chi Minh City.

According to reports, one of the sites was first launched in 2008 to offer free downloads of mainstream films.

clips and videos were included the following year when the ’s administrators decided they wanted to attract more visitors.

The three accused earned up to 30 million dong ($2,026.90) a month for running the sites — the equivalent of around 18 months’ average salary in Vietnam.

The two websites have reportedly been closed.

Communist Vietnam, a one-party state, allows no independent media and controls all print, broadcast and online publications. Authorities have expressed concern about pornographic content online.

Amy Fisher to Appear on Maury Povich TV Show

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NEW YORK — Adult star and infamous “Long Island Lolita” Amy Fisher will appear on the broadcast network Maury Povich TV show Sept. 30 to discuss her new , “Deep Inside Amy Fisher.”

According to her spokesperson, Fisher will discuss everything that went into the making of her first professional adult film that also stars Dale DaBone, Lisa Ann, Marcus and Tommy Gunn (fresh off of his cameo role in the HBO series “Entourage”).

“Maury has always treated me with class, and this was a great opportunity to show the world my first professional adult film, and give Maury the opportunity to ask all of the tough questions,” Fisher said.

Fisher will reportedly explain why she decided to pursue a career in adult after promising Povich in a 2007 show that she was not going to be a porn star after a tape she made with her went public.

Visit The Maury Povich Show for local listings, channel and times.

Media Copyright Group’s John Steele: Pirate Slayer

bbe4c08ea8e12e3da5984cf3c3833db4 Media Copyright Group’s John Steele: Pirate Slayer

CHICAGO—John Steele is a Chicago-based attorney whose main practice focuses on the conventional areas of family , and consumer bankruptcy. But like a caped-crusader, he has extended his legal aspirations into the relatively new and aggressive arena of infringement lawsuits targeting anonymous infringers who obtain their content from Torrents. While certainly not the only attorney to stake a claim in this area, his Media Group has seen a lot of action lately on behalf of clients that might not necessarily utilize the services of his “daytime” firm: adult production studios.

Steele is already well into three lawsuits on behalf of adult studios—Hard Drive Productions, Lightspeed Media, and Millennium TGA—and he told AVN that several more are being prepared. The litigious floodgates are wide open, his legal guns are locked and loaded, and as the following interview makes clear, the crosshairs are now centered squarely on the illegal downloader.

You have three lawsuits filed already. Are there more coming down the pike?

Yes, we have about ten lawsuits in various stages of readiness, including three more we will be filing tomorrow morning on behalf of new clients, with larger numbers of John Does, probably closer to a thousand.

Your approach is to file suit, enter discovery and obtain the identifying information of the alleged infringers and then try to negotiate a settlement with them. Could you subpoena ISPs for that information before filing a lawsuit?

No, you have to have an underlying cause of action in order to issue discovery and a subpoena is just one part of discovery.

What happens after you get the identifying information from the ISP? Do you attempt to negotiate with each and every one of the alleged infringers?

Yes, we attempt to reach out to everybody. We get a certain small percentage of people who say, ‘Hell no, we’re going to hire an attorney and fight it,’ and we say, okay, that’s fine, and just proceed along. Of course, statutory figures are in the six figures, so usually that’s just bravado on their part. Other people want to work something out or begin a process of verifying the information that we have, and we understand that, too. People want to make sure about their chances of winning (or losing) before entering into a settlement. We’ll always work with people. Just the other day, a guy said, ‘Okay you got me, but I don’t have the to pay you off in one lump sum, can I pay it off in three payments?’ We said, sure. We want to minimize the effect of this on everyone. Even if they brought it upon themselves, there’s no reason to make a mountain out of a molehill.

You mentioned six figures? Are most of the targeted people multiple offenders or are some of them people who downloaded once or twice?

First, I would bet—though I don’t have any proof—that everyone we’ve gone after is a multiple offender, but we only go after people for one violation that we have caught them doing. There are certain statutory damages that are allowed under Copyright law, and the damages can go up to $150,000. But there is a range [of fines], and in the end it depends on the judge and the judgment and a lot of factors, but it can go up that high.

How seriously do you take the of the data or identifying information of accused illegal downloaders? I’m thinking of the British law firm in trouble for allowing similar information to be stolen by hackers.

I would first say that to the extent that any law firm doesn’t protect the data in keeping with whatever statute there is, they are liable for bad conduct. I don’t necessarily blame them for having their data stolen because obviously that happens to a lot of companies. But yes, we take data security very seriously, and we protect the data that is sent to to the best of our ability.

Do ISPs send you the information about these people in encrypted form?

No, they usually do not. There is no requirement that I am aware of that they have to do anything other than simply mail us the information. We get much more incriminating information from other lawsuits all the time. Besides, the name and phone number of someone who has an IP address is just one little piece of the entire evidence puzzle.

What about the people who simply deny that it was them doing the downloading, or that you got the wrong IP address, or that sort of thing?

We are not like the recording industry in that we get a lot of false positives; in fact, I don’t believe we’ve had a single one. Our software is very advanced; it’s all customized and proprietary, so we have an amazing amount of incriminating data and information about each one of the people we’re going after. By the time we have had a conversation with these people, they have long since stopped denying that they did it, let’s just put it that way.

On another note, I read a study recently that said 99 percent of all BitTorrent content is illegal, so I have a real problem when people say they didn’t know it was illegal, or people saying we’re picking on people downloading. It’s like the Napster argument. We all know that when you get a hundred million dollar movie like Batman for free because you went to this sketchy looking website that didn’t have anybody’s ownership on it, you know that’s not legitimate. If you’re going to argue that you didn’t know, you’re like the guy who gets pulled over for speeding and says he didn’t know. Well, too bad, you were speeding, and our legal system says that ignorance is no defense.

I’ve had a lot of conversations with people who have called the office and said, ‘Oh, this is what happened, my son downloaded it, or whatever.” Well, the court system here thankfully puts the responsibility on the car driver for the purposes of speeding tickets, and on the owner of the ISP account for the purpose of illegal downloading. In almost all contracts with internet service providers, people promise not to engage in illegal activity with the bandwidth that the ISP provides them, and the ISP then gives them dynamic IP addresses that change every two days or so.

The technology sounds new. Are these basically test cases for the effectiveness of your technology in court?

All I can say is that the technology we have does make it practically impossible to have a false positive, but obviously the details are a trade secret. Regarding whether or not the evidence will hold up in court, our and experience shows us that because of the way it is compiled and the way the data is grabbed from the defending party, we don’t see how there could be any argument to exclude it. Obviously, if the evidence is excluded, we don’t have much to present to the court that the person is a defender, but thus far the courts have ruled in our favor on almost every issue relating not only to our evidence but also our right to find out the identities of the offenders.

Why are all of these adult cases happening now?

I think part of it is that there were some decisions handed down in the District of Columbia that made it easier for these lawsuits, but I also think the technology has caught up with the problem. It took us nine months to develop our software, but since the beginning of the year we’ve realized that for the first time the legal precedent exists to be able to go after multiple John Does at the same time, and also to obtain their information through the ISPs.

Once we made the porn studios aware that we might be able to assist them, it was basically the beginning and end of our effort, because quite frankly I doubt I go three days without a studio asking us to work with them. We haven’t made a call to a studio since the first week that we started working on this project.

What is your strategy with respect to naming alleged infringers publicly?

Well, as you know, we are only naming people in the lawsuits as anonymous John Does. We don’t put any person’s real name in there until it becomes apparent that we can’t work anything out. My attitude is, let’s try to resolve this with the least amount of litigious behavior. I was just speaking to someone yesterday and he said, ‘Look, I want to resolve this, I work with the Boy Scouts, I didn’t download anything inappropriate or illegal.’ He didn’t want to deal with the problem and have to hire an attorney, and we were able to resolve the issue and come to a resolution. In that case, no one is ever going to know his name other than our staff, and we much prefer that, because we don’t think anyone is served by losing their job or being ridiculed or whatever.

At the same time, if our clients have had content stolen from them and they lost money because of it, we have to protect their rights. I think it’s a balancing act between making sure people are not embarrassed but also make sure our clients don’t go out of business, because it’s a free-for-all right now on the internet.

Do you recognize that there are some people in the industry who don’t agree with the tactic of suing people who watch porn, using basically the same argument the music industry faced when it started suing illegal downloaders?

Yes, of course, I’ve heard this argument made a lot, but I have to respectfully disagree with the people who say we’re going after [the industry’s] customers. People who are very comfortable using BitTorrent and taking content for free are not going to ever pay for it. Our research is very clear on that point.

Our argument is very basic. We believe that using Torrent sites to watch copyrighted content is theft, and we are just going after the people who do that so they can compensate our clients for stealing something. It’s like we’re going after a car thief. We don’t care that it’s a car that’s a certain color or brand; we’re going after him because he stole a car.

There are also a lot of people in the mainstream who don’t believe in going after end-users, because it somehow lessens the freedoms inherent in the internet.

In fact, it is by allowing pirates to simply bankrupt or at least cripple this entire industry that reduces freedoms by preventing the law-abiding citizen from getting access to content. At this rate there won’t be any high quality, high-definition porn, but only recycled stuff from the 80s and 90s, because it will no longer worth it to make new movies.

What about the claim that was made in the Yahoo! News article that implied you want to shame illegal downloaders publicly for the type of content they are watching as part of the strategy to get them to settle?

I think it’s muddying the water to say that we’re trying to shame someone; it’s an effort to take people’s eye off the ball, because at the end of the day unless you can confuse people it boils down to the fact that someone stole something that wasn’t theirs. And that’s something that I think people can understand, and certainly so far the judges have no problem understanding that. Quite frankly, I’m surprised at how fair the judges have been. I have absolutely never felt in any of these cases that the judges were not giving us the full protection of the law because of who we happened to represent.

Here’s how we look at the issue. Some of our producers make content that some people may not feel is mainstream content, such as transsexual content. But our clients believe in their content. They’re not embarrassed by the fact that they make it, and they’re certainly not embarrassed that people come and pay them for it. But I do think that any upstanding citizen would and should be embarrassed to go into federal court to defend illegally downloading Titanic, because he committed a crime and if he gets a judgment against him and works at a bank or for the government, he could have trouble at his job. So there’s always an embarrassment factor when you’re caught breaking the law and that’s what we’re going after.

In the larger sense, I can’t speak to what a downloader may or may not feel embarrassed about because when I download porn I’m not embarrassed about it at all. I did it, I want to watch it and if you don’t like it, well, I guess you don’t have to be my friend. I would be personally offended if someone were to come to me and say, John, you can’t watch transsexual content. Excuse me, but we’re in the United States. I want people to have complete freedom.

I just think it’s important to get back to the basic issue here. We have to prove that these people stole something. If we make an allegation in federal court that we have no way of proving, we’re going to get in a lot of trouble. So the accused is defending himself on an action that we have a lot of evidence that he did. If he’s that embarrassed about downloading porn, then maybe he shouldn’t do it, but that’s a separate issue. The fact is, I don’t care what he downloaded. If he downloaded Rosetta Stone to learn to speak Spanish; if he downloaded Titanic; if he downloaded transsexual porn; if he did any of these downloads illegally and he’s caught, he should be punished according to the U.S. Copyright statutes.

In light of your success in the courtroom thus far, do you expect to hear from any mainstream studios?

We actually have received a couple of calls from studios out in California, but we’re not sure if we’re going to go in that direction. We are very busy right now with the clients we have, and I’ve always believed it’s dangerous to worry about your next client and not about your current client. But yes, our technology would allow us to go after any illegal downloader of anything, and the only limiting factor would be our ability to scale up.

So why do you think some law firms—like the one litigating The Hurt Locker case—are having more difficulties than you are? A federal judge in South Dakota just blocked their attempt to get information from ISPs in the state.

A part of that may have been about how they went about doing it. Litigation doesn’t have to be about shouting at one another and being hostile. If you go to third parties that are just trying to make money providing internet service or whatever, and you act like a jerk with them, they may not like that. We try to work with third parties and don’t see the upside in threatening them or throwing lawsuits around at the people we need as partners in this. I mean, I don’t think ISPs want to be a conduit to massive bandwidth usage for illegal purposes because they would then have to increase their infrastructure. Illegal downloaders hurt ISPs as much as anyone else. So we point that out to them, and say, if you lose one tenth of one percent of the people who are mad because we’re suing them, you’re also going to get rid of 80 percent of your client problems, at which point you can send us a thank you card.