
I can't stop thinking about my wife's hot sister. What should I do? Posted Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009, at 7:00 AM ET Get "Dear Prudence" delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.) Click here to read a transcript of Prudie's live weekly chat with readers at Washingtonpost.com. Dear Prudence, I consider myself a moral person. I'm lucky to be married to someone caring and attractive, whom I love and who loves me back. We just had our first child. My wife has a sister who's been married for several years, has kids, and seems happy. She's also extremely sexy. My wife is beautiful to me, but she doesn't have the confidence to pull off "sexy" like her sister. A while back, my sister-in-law came over and we shared a bottle of vodka—my wife was pregnant so couldn't drink. Ever since, I catch glances from my sister-in-law that get my mind racing. She's paraded her body in front of me in bikinis all summer long. I'm not a cheating person, but I've also never been tempted before. I've tried to talk about it with my wife since we share everything. Now she feels I don't want her. She also doesn't think her sister would ever "want" me (not sure how to take that one). Hanging out with my sister-in-law and her husband is one of my favorite aspects of being a part of my wife's family. I don't want to disrupt anything, but I don't know how to carry this around with me. Would it be wrong to confront my sister-in-law about this and try to clear the air? —Conflicted Dear Conflicted, I can just imagine how you'd like this "confrontation" to go: "I think we should clear the air about the sexual attraction between us in Room 426 at the Holiday Inn off Highway Exit 22." You want advice, so here's some: Stop sharing everything if you think sharing includes telling your wife you'd like to bang her sister, declare pool season over—no more swimming with the in-laws—and throw away the vodka bottle. You gloss over the crucial point that your wife just had a baby. That means that, for many months, she has not been as sexually available as usual, and even when she is, her flesh is distributed in strange and not totally alluring ways. Now think of what's going on in your marriage from her perspective. She is wondering whether she will ever get her old body back and whether her husband will still find her attractive. Your confession was not reassuring, and you're lucky it didn't prompt your wife to suggest busting up your new family. You also seem to be insinuating that you're insulted that your wife thinks her sister is not interested in you. Which prompts some more advice: Grow up. You're an adult and a father, so stop acting like a horny teenager. It's time you understood that not every desire is to be acted upon or even spoken of. Use your intellectual powers to appreciate what your wife has gone through to bear your child and to recognize that while you're frustrated … [Read more...]









